|Reviews for I'M DONE!|
| xhaiiro chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
This is very eloquently written; I liked it a lot.
| H.Satrio chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
"In order for me to breathe again; I had to exhale you,
My body, heart and soul went through withdrawals; because I was addicted to you,
You were the best narcotic; you kept me high,"
-those are some awesome lines. I think anyone to dare to challenge life have felt those emotions before and again. Thank for the share, I really felt your thoughts. Your short, straight to the point images made me able to feel your true emotions. I want to read more lol
| SEMMU chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
Very good. Write on!
You've laced this with bits of alliteration and some random ryhmes; however, I'd consider this more a poetic prose than a poem. Either way, you've done a great job expressing your relationship with this goof.
Still yet, I'd consider writing a poem from this, with all the trimmings, such as: stanzas, meter, etc.
My body, heart and soul
went through withdrawals;
I was addicted...
You're a great narcotic;
you keep me high,
but I'm more than a lie
told to get you by.
You gave little bits,
and took more of me
Now my mind is drained;
I'm mentally exhausted,
and physically repelled
(Do you see what I mean?)
Also, there's a few grammar mistakes that could be easily fixed. For example: I assume 95 refers to 95 percent?
Good job. Write on!
| iloveanimecartoons chapter 1 . 2/12/2008
**glomps apples** GAWD, you make me wanna reach into that poem and pull the person it's related to and pop 'em a GOOD one! That's right, I was mad as hell reading this. It felt like you were giving us readers a very real look into your emotions and I felt for that. It's my sincere hope that this is just a random thought that you caught ahold of and turned into another wonderful piece of art and not in fact, fact. I really hope you V Day is wonderful! Not to plug myself, but I'd like you to read the piece I chose as my V Day gift to all the readers. It is my wish that the emotions described in the piece reflect your heart at the moment. If not, here's another huggle: **glomps apples real good**