|Reviews for Private Malone|
| Aliaga Silvermoon chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
Just wanted to let you know that I am enjoying this story, but you need to post more before I go crazy. I think people will like this story even if you get a few bad reviews. There will always be people to put you down. The thing is not to take it to heart and to just keep doing what you like. Those were words someone told me once.
| Liam02 chapter 1 . 4/17/2008
First off, you may want to worry about copyright laws for using the name "Private Andrew Malone."
I mean, country music is pretty sweet and all if you think country music is pretty sweet and all, but it's a not so ballsy and definitely not so creative of a move.
Also, your characters' dialogue is very dry and bland. It's like listening to a local fifth grade class do their rendition of "A Day That Will Live In Infamy." Or something.
Overall, you're lacking creativity. A reason to keep reading.
Historical fiction is tough because the reader, most of the time, already knows whats happening. The guess work is minimal.
So add that edge. Make me guess.
| Cass Boothe chapter 20 . 3/5/2008
"They’d be enough to give one of our beloved drill sergeants a hernia, or at the very least a myocardial infarction!"
A myocardial infarction is more serious than a hernia. You may want to switch the order of them.
I am enjoying your story
| Cass Boothe chapter 11 . 2/14/2008
I really like your characters. You're doing a good job developing them.
| Harley Morgan chapter 9 . 2/13/2008
This is a really good story. Normally I don't read stories about wars and stuff, but I really like this one. Good job!