|Reviews for Boom!|
| Stray Child chapter 12 . 3/29/2008
okay...WOW...WHAT JUST HAPPENED. Dingo was like gone and then he was there and then...just...update soon...PLEASE!
| TragicKitty chapter 11 . 3/29/2008
Anyway, it's indeed improving. If I were you- I'd take some time now to go back and fix your earlier chapters s otaht their less quick and more detailed. More reviewers, and you'll likely get somebody who's not as harsh as I am.
Here's the thing, your actions are a little off- "yelled" and "hushed" are paradoxical. There are points where it's less absurd way to use paradoxes and oxymorons, but those really don't work together.
| Stray Child chapter 11 . 3/28/2008
aww, poor Vladie's a reject. hmm, the hunters seem interesting...this is a very good piece and keeps getting better and better, update soon, promise, promised!
| Swiftstriker chapter 2 . 3/25/2008
I like the idea of this story, but seriously, you have almost no character description. The only real thing you mention is gender. I have no idea how they look, what their voices sound like, or anything of that nature. This story is almost entirely dialogue.
| TragicKitty chapter 10 . 3/25/2008
100 hits, eh? Tip: you can look at the breakdown and find where your weakest chapters are- just click on the number of hits on your profile.
So...I've decided, it's not style problems. You have very simple sentences and too complex sentences. Combine some, add some description in between, use more figaritive language. Trust me, it helps.
So Vlad's body is in shock, huh? Sounds like fun. Is he an important character?
| Stray Child chapter 10 . 3/25/2008
Well, Vladimir seems kind of...oblivous to his situation, wonder how that one is going to play out. hmm, loved the chapter and i would say more but i've got homework that is staring at me and my mom won't stope yelling at me to get it done. so, yeah, update soon, later!
| TragicKitty chapter 9 . 3/22/2008
DEFINITE improvement on your pacing. Congrats!
You mean she's nice? o_0 bit weird there. I considered her to be withdrawn and a bit cold. VERY forward foreshadowing, at times to forward, but with this new pacing, your story is much better, and much easier to follow. I have style tips...but I don't want to hurt your style; I'm still learning to identify it.
| Cigaro chapter 4 . 3/20/2008
At first, when I read your review I was like: Wha...? You're reviewing the wrong story!
But then, I checked a live preview and I accidentally put a chapter of Ookami Samurais in Boom!...
I'm so stupid.
| Stray Child chapter 9 . 3/20/2008
nice, though it kind of confuse me at first but i caught on. i loved the way he found out about the wires...painful way, but effective. can't wait until the next update!
| Cigaro chapter 2 . 3/9/2008
Okay! I'll try in the next chapter.
Is that it?
| TragicKitty chapter 8 . 3/8/2008
Um...I think I'm gonna wait to see what you do now that you have my advice before I bombard you with more; Update soon!
| TragicKitty chapter 7 . 3/8/2008
Look...I don't mean to be bitch here, but your pacing is TERRIBLE. There's so much build up you can do. When Jackal's parentage is revealed, it's a 'meh' moment rather than 'zomg!' Putting in more build up, and more descritions, and more characterization, and more bonding, would make this moment so much better. It's a great twist- but horribly used.
| Cigaro chapter 8 . 3/8/2008
Looks like you got my message!
Yeah, I thought that the way people look at politicians as mature, so I thought it would be interesting for immature ones, and mature children!
Oh, can you also clarify about explaining? Like, where?
| TragicKitty chapter 4 . 3/8/2008
Erm...other than the government being compiled of a tactless brat...okay.
Your going pretty well. You could slow down a little so we can get to know the MC and supporting characters, but it might just be what your planning.
| TragicKitty chapter 3 . 3/8/2008
Uh...wow. Your really playing up the childishness in the government, aren't you?
Anyway...I should have mentioned it earlier(since I have hardly been complimentary) but I like the names you give these 'animalia.' I would highly suggest combining these last three chapters, the second chapter is where you should give at least a little explanation...that can be shifted to the third, but it's frustrating to read with what little we as readers have.