|Reviews for Allysa's Angel|
| Caecilia chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Very unique! I normally stay away from romance, but I'm glad I took the time to write this. I wish it was a little longer, it seems like it might've been somewhat rushed, but other than that, loved the story.
| Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Great, short story. Fitting title. It was very cute.
There was just a few technical errors:
1. '"Goodbye angel" she whispered' should be "Goodbye, angel" she whispered''.
2. "Devastated he wandered . . ." should be "Devastated, he wandered . . ."
3. You don't have to use lower case like '"What?" he looked . . .' because you're not saying he said/stated/whispered something.
4. '"Green" he commented.' should be '"Green," he commented.'
5. '"I already have"' should be '"I already have."'
6. '"Are you all right"' should be '"Are you all right?"'
7. "Embarassed she admitted . . ." should be "Embarrassed, she admitted . . ."
Again, cute story. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!
Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer.
| Selarose chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
So sweet and funny. Again, I wish it was longer. :P
| Midnight Adrenaline chapter 1 . 3/3/2008
It's beautiful and so sweet. Although it seems rushed. Describe more.
| fairies and snapple chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
I think this is really sweet- I love the whole contacts thing. It would actually be really nice if you made it a whole thing- longer, and with more description/details. Keep up the good work!
| Sara Frisch chapter 1 . 2/13/2008
I strongly admire your clear sense of individualism. Many people tend to refer to commonplace ideas, but your story is undeniably unique. Keep writing!