|Reviews for Don't Listen|
| lost for words chapter 1 . 4/26/2008
everything about this is superb. the images, word-choice, effective repetition of 'Don't listen' -it's all wonderful. another definite favourite.
| AMFSky chapter 1 . 3/1/2008
Hey. You probably don't know me, know me but I do go to your school. Actually, I just friended you on Facebook. I was directed to this and had to read. It was interesting.
Of course it is always hard to critique someone's writing as it truly is a look at their soul. And it is an amazingly beautiful, majestic thing. Obviously there is emotion behind your work and that is what makes it so good. There are feelings that back words that are otherwise completely useless, meaningless, worthless. If there was no driving force this would be lifeless but it is not. It runs and creates rampant images of sadness, pain, loneliness that are otherwise unattainable. The river of woes runs deep; that is quite clear. You have amazing skills, skills that one can usually only dream of. You refine raw emotions into something that one can read, understand, feel within their own soul. There is a gift in that but there is a burden. To create a masterpiece you must bear the melancholy that is necessary to express such a sorrow.
I only have one suggestion...Do not give up so easily on humanity. Some of us aren't that bad. Sometimes we can listen...we just need to be told.
| zz00 chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
Powerful and steadfast. Only a few grammatical errors (some words missing). There was also a bit of confusion in your argument when you said that you only wanted to address a person that you have implored, ironically, not to listen. I understand the sarcasm you used, and it was very well done, but when you said you only wished to reach this one character, it sort of broke the flow of that idea. Other than that though, this is a very cool creation: your synechdoches and metaphors were apt and well placed, and the language flowed excellently between prose and poetry. Very well done. :)
| Nemonus chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
I love the first paragraph. Maybe because I've been listening to pop music, it comes off as so sardonic, so close-to-home. There is no vagueness in this prose/poem/rant; it knows its target and hits spot-on. Good...
At the end I'm left uncertain as to what the reader/the unknown "you" are supposed to not be listening to. At some parts it seems that there is a story behind this story, too personal for revealing (here).
Good work, but a bit unsatisfying because, at the end, I don't really know who the narrator is.
| fairytale failure chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
I really like the message in this, like you're trying to get someone to understand the truth but you know they won't. My attention was caught from the very beginning, and held until the end. I liked the part about Ani DiFranco, and the contrast between bright crayons that stay between the lines, and the lighter, watery paints that bleed all over the page. Actually, each paragraph was great, illustrating your point with a new idea.
| The Psychopath Blonde chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
Reality hurts, doesn't it?
| the lost yarn spinner chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
No one will hate you. If they can't understand, they're not worth it... even though I think I know who. Have a little faith. You might be surprised.
In regards to this:
The imagery was amazing. I loved the watercolors illusion, particularly because I could identify with it.
Don't give up!
| Two Of Spades chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
nice, poetry is so hard to critique, heh...though, I can't find any glaring faults in it at all. In fact, W'lldang! its good! I mean seriously, I usually try to find faults in writing so I can actually do something other than squeal at how good it was and say the same things every other reviewer has, like how much they loved it, but I'm not exactly and english professor, so the bars pretty low, haha...anyway, great job. Nice use reiterating your point by imagery rather than directly, keeping the reader on the point of the story, focused on society, and with the cynical viewpoint, I felt I was also constantly reminded of the main character, seeing the world through their eyes, so it tied the two together. Hmm, cya!