|Reviews for Experience|
| writingxonxwalls chapter 1 . 3/10/2008
review game )
I loved your topic, and I think you did really well expressing what you felt. I felt like I knew exactly what you were feeling and that was really great. I don't know why but the lines
"Of only managing to reach the park
Before fear and the stench of drunks"
really stuck out to me. I'm not sure if they should, haha, but they did.
My only critique (I was always really horrible at spelling that word...) would be that the last line of each little "section" (even though they weren't seperated it seemed like split itself up) was kind of awkward. Not irrelavant, but somewhat awkward. If you would like some examples, PM me, okay?
But overall it was really great. ) Keep it up!