Ah this was great! I can't wait to read the rest! Keep at it!

ah! why isn't it finished?

when's it going to get scary?

interesting chapter, but since you are writing in first person why are you using the mother's name instead of just mom?

"Marilia covered her eyes with her hands and wept."

If she was really scared, she would have relocked the door, and if people were in her house that's just plain stupid to not call the police, and she didn't even relock the door after that, either it just doesn't make sense or she's one dumb chick

“Selena, it’s your brother. He’s been murdered.

I froze. “Not again.” I whispered. My grip on the phone loosened and the phone clattered to the ground.

that doesn't sound right, like her brother has died before?

other than that good chapter.

that's good! keep going! :):):):):):):):):):)

pretty good. update soon please!

This chapter was good! I don't know why but I loved it when you said "Attached to the shadow wsa a pair of feet" I thought that was just a cool way of phrasing that. I dont know if you noticed but the first line was repeated. Good job! But one thing, she could've broken a window even though they were locked. But overall it was really good!

I LOVED IT! CANT WAIT TO READ MORE! :]

It was good! I can't wait to read some more.

this is good! keep going please! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Very well written, with a few minor corrections this could be even better. I was a little bit confused at first but then I got the plot line. Not exactly scary but good all the same.

LL

so far this is a really great story! i'm gonna try to finish reading it tonight!

This is quite an expected. Mom as suspect! Was the hand real? Fresh with blood? I guess it must be or Selena's breakfest won't be down the toilet. But, why didn't she call the policy if it was a really bloody hand?