|Reviews for A Break in the Monotony|
| dragonflydreamer chapter 4 . 5/11/2008
This isn't your freebie or anything, I just felt like reviewing -
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! It's one of the most unique romance fics I've found on this site. I like your portrayal of "MerriSue." I'm from that kind of rural area where my house is in the middle of a field and it takes 20 minutes to get to the nearest grocery store, and I know plenty of people like your Merrisue. No one out here is truely that ditsy and stupid, yet many people pretend to be even though they're pretty strong on the inside. You did a very realistic portrayal of that type of person.
Your story had a moral! I can't remember the last time I read a story on this site with a moral! A very nice moral too, might I add.
Hm, the only things I can really suggest to improve are your chapter breaks. There's nothing wrong with them, I just think that you could have spiced them up a bit to keep the reader wanting more.
Like I said, I really loved reading this story! I'm deffinately adding this to my favorites list, and I'm very selective about my favorites. I look forward to reading more of your work!
| masterful me chapter 4 . 3/4/2008
You have a thing for mechanics, don't you?
Me too ;)
I love how innocent MerriSue is and how corrupt Johnny seems at first. It's cute and funny when he gets annoyed with her naivete; but then he gets over it and genuinely likes her.
I know you appreciate critique but I couldn't find any mistakes here. This was a longer one-shot than I'm used to - Or are you going to continue? It would be a nice place to end here; or you could go ahead and turn this into an angst-ridden romance story full of affairs and such other intrigues. Could be interesting ;) The title is what originally attracted me. The summary could use some work, although I would definitely keep the line "leather and plastic don't mix" - Both humorous and suspenseful; my two favorite genres.
| FantasyIssue chapter 4 . 2/28/2008
okay. so I really loved the story, but there are a few mistakes in it. I don't remember where those mistakes are, so I guess you should re-read it quickly. Also, the ending was a little weird to me. I'm not sure if they ended up together? I assume that they didn't, but I don't know.
Anyways. I love the way you wrote it, and how it worked out. I love the characters and how you developed them. I just loved it. Hands down, two thumbs up. ]
| fairies and snapple chapter 4 . 2/28/2008
Really good end! I love that they didn't end up together, and even though they "made love" he kept thinking of how annoying MerriSue (lol) was. Unexpected surprises are fab! So, keep on writing.
| fairies and snapple chapter 3 . 2/26/2008
Uh, woah. Brilliant writing, I like how he thinks she's empty-headed and plastic, while she just wants people to see her that way (in fact, I have a character who's just like that, so I clearly like it). Why did they move so fast though- I mean, why did she want to? And how old are they? Update soon.
| Szyren chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
How am I supposed to say something about a story that isn't finished? Its a good start though. Clearly you have more to write. Get at it.