|Reviews for Intrigue At The Crowned Jewel|
| Weinerdog of Death and Doom chapter 27 . 8/30/2008
Oh... -squeal- That was cute! Happy ending sort of not yet but still~ Two happy endings made me hyper. One was with my friend with the story we're writing (the "princess who lived in the castle of ice" was brought back to the castle she'd run away from by her "flower prince" and the "king" -cough-) and... yeah! Nyah, love it as always!
| magGE chapter 26 . 8/4/2008
fjasksjkajfsa, overload in my brain! I read the whole story in like hours. It was like I was obsessed. This is so good that I don't know what to say. All the plot twists! I was like Oh my god every single time! It will never get worse if you edit only better, this story is already really good so it's not a question about that you must edit. If you edit the story it would only be making something good even better. If you're thinking really big changes it would be fun if you reposted the story but if it's smaller ones I think that you should just edit this one.
| miss.venerable chapter 26 . 8/3/2008
Wow, i just finished reading the whole story and I am amazed at what you've written. This is by far my favourite piece of writing on this site. The writing itself was fluid and detailed enough that i didn't find myself skipping ahead to read the more interesting bits ( a bad habit, I confess) and all throughout I've found that the characters have stayed true to themselves and your character development has been admirable. Not to mention all the confusing things going on at once that need clearing up at the end. I can't get how you can do it without going crazy! I now have a deep love for both Seb and Adrian- the last chapter actually made me feel all gooey inside!- and I dont think you need any criticism because for me, this is perfect. Please, please update soon!
| animenut2023 chapter 26 . 7/21/2008
I just recently found this story and have read it over the last three to four days. The thing that I initially fell in love with was Viper. He was distinctly separate but also part of Sebastian, a defense mechanism. Something as I psych major I really enjoy when people use correctly.
Then as the story progressed I was starting to fall out of love with it, picking up on some very cliche plot points and getting a little bogged down with the story. Then the plot really hit it's stride. The subconscious being tied in with the magic and the character interaction all became stellar and I was quite happy to see many of the cliche elements get turned on their head.
I admit I let out a groan as it was revealed that Sebastian was cursed as well, but then you turned it into the reason the Crowned Jewel was founded and all was set right again. Basically I'd just like to say that this story has turned out awesome, the majority of the plot and characters flowing perfectly.
As for your editing question, I would love to read the edited version regardless of however you choose to post it. I wish you luck as I know editing can be even harder than writing the first draft.
| Liviania chapter 26 . 7/17/2008
I nodded my accent, praying that the information within would not be more than we could all bear, and she swept her way out of the room.
I would just leave this version and post a completely new edited version. Rewrites usually work best not working directly off the original, but from what you remember as the most important moments. It gives the story more freedom to change.
| Midnights Scream chapter 26 . 7/15/2008
:) it's so great. What a twist! They're getting married! I'm so excited and I think you should just edit this one. :) so happy!
| zoule chapter 26 . 7/15/2008
*gahh* *speechless* I'm so happy they're happy! And poor, oblivious Sebastian...
| hpfreakout chapter 26 . 7/15/2008
So, this chapter made me happy. Very very happy. LOTS of things happened and I loved how everything came together.
And I'm excited for more. :)
As for the editing, I'm in support of posting a new, edited version of it. That way I could still reread this one while waiting for the entire thing to be edited.
| cheese chapter 26 . 7/15/2008
| Aime Atem chapter 26 . 7/14/2008
I cannot think of a way to express the absolute joy that filled me upon reading the end of this chapter. I'm going to go make crepes in celebration.
As for your problem, I suggest that you make your changes to this posted story (the one with all of the reviews, which are a status symbol and often indicate the quality of a story), but make another story and stick the unedited chapters there for the enjoyment of those who are interested.
| Weinerdog of Death and Doom chapter 26 . 7/14/2008
OMG! I seriously squee'd out loud... again... when I read the marrage thing! Of course, I showed it to my friend. And she pointed out that there had been an asshole named Adrian in our Spanish class and her ex boyfriend's twin brother was named Sebastian. WELL. That made me pause. And laugh. BUT ANYWAYS! Omg! I think that you should finish this story up as it is, then ask us again what we think... because, the foreshadowing might not've detracted from the story, and may have gone unnoticed! -nodnod- Well anyways, awesome chappie, as always!
| Blithe Lee chapter 26 . 7/14/2008
1. "I nodded my accent" (somewhere in the upper-half of this chapter) -"accent" should be "assent."
2. ! Wow, Adrian moves fast-marriage already, ahahah. Sebastian's disbelief/denial was so cute.
3. This last line ("And most importantly? It would contain sex. My grin went distinctly malicious and Adrian started to look faintly, politely worried. Oh, yes.")-totally ftw.
4. I don't really mind which editing-thingamabobber you go for. S'all good to me.
5. Mwahaha. I am proud for guessing that Sebastian was the other cursed when Cyphonia mentioned it (in other words, a grand half a minute or so before it was confirmed).
6. Now how is it that Sebastian can still carry Adrian's curse? Like, that one time with Lime Jade, for example. The time with Cameo can be explained by Sebastian passing his own curse (oh yeah, and I DID wonder how it was that Sebastian could do that, cuz I thought that kind of thing would only extend one person beyond the cursed).
7. Le gasp! But what will happen with the oldest/youngest sons of the Emperor? And, er, isn't the youngest expecting Black Viper?
| Liviania chapter 25 . 7/8/2008
Whee! I expected that Adrian was the prince, although I didn't expect the other revelations; however, they make sense and don't seem out of left field.
And I have less time to wait since I was on vacation.
| Chocolate Herrings chapter 25 . 7/6/2008
You've caught me like a fish on a hook. You're characters are so beautifully realized (although, I admit, I was sad to see Black Viper go), and the plot just keeps on turning. Also, I firmly don't (and will not) believe that Lime Jade has anything to with any wrong or evil plans. Please, update soon!
| Midnights Scream chapter 25 . 7/6/2008
wow. you make me think Adrian isn't the prince like I first thought because of the paper then it turns out my thoughts were right. :) you're amazingly evil. *sniffle* I can't believe that they can't sleep together. that's very depressing. great job!