|Reviews for Intrigue At The Crowned Jewel|
| Three Score and Ten chapter 19 . 5/6/2008
I LOVE how you handled the memory scenes in this chapter! *flail* Absolutely wonderful. As you said, erasing a character's memory so that the reader knows something they don't has always jolted me out of the story, and made it less entertaining to follow and guess at the plot. You've put me on the edge of my seat with suspense as more and more hints are revealed and I think I feel much more connected to Sebastian because of it.
I'm a little disappointed that, with all the hinting revelations that are going on, the theme of masks and faces hasn't re-surfaced yet. That's mostly because I really liked that theme and its implications, though. I do think that the way we are made to question more and more of our earlier perceptions of events (and people, especially Lavender!) is masterfully done.
Loved this chapter, glad things are going better for you!
| tmelange1 chapter 19 . 5/3/2008
I'm really glad you dealt with what I felt was the central difficulty of the story - why Sebastian is so enamored of Adrian with so little context. I think you did a bang up job with the love spell scenario and the confrontations and the memory loss. I was on the edge of my seat. Certainly, you are rocking this story like a rock star!
I look forward to more. In fact, I can barely wait. LOL
You know, you've managed to so thoroughly invest me in this whole world (rather than any one relationship) that I wouldn't be adverse to this whole thing with Adrian playing out, them going their separate ways, and Sebastian moving on to another, more meaningful relationship (maybe with someone in the Emperor's entourage?). That *never* happens when I read original slash on the internet. The writing and world-building is never good enough to sustain my interest throughout a novel-length story without some core relationship for me to root for. So I must say that I hope you have big plans for Sebastian, and now that I see that you have the knack of really complicated long term character development, I am more enthusiastic than ever about this world.
| tmelange1 chapter 18 . 5/3/2008
Great chapter! I really enjoyed the bath scene, and I am fond of the notion of Adrian wanting Viper. LOL Even though I'm glad he's interested in Sebastian, too, we started the story with Viper and somehow it just tickles me that Adrian seems attracted to that persona. Plus, the scenes between Viper and Adrian are my favorites, so I guess that's why I enjoyed this bit, too.
The reveal of the love spells - what's that all about? I'm caught between and betwixt whether I'm feeling Adrian as a real love interest for Sebastian. Now, I wonder what this bodes for the whole situation...
| chocolate-philosophy chapter 19 . 5/3/2008
What the heck are they doing to Sebastian? D:
Oh, I'm definitely looking forward to reading the "shit-hits-the-ceiling" chapter.
*glares at Lav and Diamond* No cookies for you.
| LaylaLivesLoosely chapter 19 . 5/2/2008
I really, really enjoyed reading this story. I think you have wonderfully complex characters, who really are likeable and despicable at the same time. You've crafted a unique and believable world full of detail and intrigue, and to be honest, the suspense is killing me. I hope to read more soon!
| Ai.Therapy chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
"How far could this seemingly absurd plot go?"
Okay, ENOUGH-enough, enough, enough! I agree completely with that line!
This is a seemingly absurd plot! I'm not liking Diamond or Lavendar one bit! How can they be so horrible and despicable as to cast a love spell? How can they then decide to erase his memory of the past two chapters, two very important chapters where he figured tons of things out! I DON'T LIKE THEM!
I feel like punching them! Then Lavender has the nerve to cry about it and feel GUILTY about it? AGH! WHY THE HELL DID SHE DECIDE TO SCHEME THIS UP IN THE FIRST PLACE IF SHE IS GONNA REGRET IT?
I HATE THEM!
God damn Adrian- I don't know what to think of him! Is it a spell? Is he somehow conspiring with Lav and Diamond or something? AH!
THIS IS WHAT YOUR ABSURD PLOT DOES TO ME!
-and Viper/Sebastian/Rose Quartz-
Feel guilty, very very guilty for putting all of us through this!
I don't know whether to hate you or love you right now -anger pout anger-
| Aime Atem chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
This story continues to radiate fantastic-ness. Keep up the awesome writing!
| Blithe Lee chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
M, definite hero-worship right now, haha. Speedy updateslove.
Poor Sebastian. Things are going to get a lot tougher for him now, aren't they? I think you managed the whole memory thing quite well, which sends me into all manners of happiness (and frustration).
As an end note, I like Ash Star lots. :)
Feel better and update! (Ahh, I'm excited.)
| Liviania chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
Yeah, I'm definitely on the same page and unsure of what he's forgetting.
I wonder why Amber Cameo is keeping quiet - it does seem like Diamond and Lavender made Brown Fawn forget as well.
| Lana chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
Your story is excellent! It has me so frustrated, I really want Adrian to figure out what is going on. My heart shouts in despair "Oh on, not again!" whenever it slips from his grasp once again. But this is how I know it's a good story, keep up the good work.
| abbybyrd chapter 19 . 5/1/2008
O.O! OH MY GOD! It's like a whole frickin' conspiracy! I was in shock, reading this. I was expecting some big reveal but nothing like that! They have memory spells for each member of the Jewel don't they? Whoever "they" are besides Diamond and Lavender. Wow, this story is really living up to it's title!
I'm so glad I'm almost done with school so I'll be able to truly enjoy the next chapter, which sounds pretty darn intense :)
| chocolate-philosophy chapter 18 . 4/30/2008
I want to have their bath. It seems so fun. *_*
I hope you're feeling better now. :)
| Liviania chapter 18 . 4/29/2008
Oh, my, I hope you recover okay and manage to catch up on you homework.
I noticed one error in a sentence (can't look for it now, I'm procrastinating), but it was coherent.
And ooh, cliffie. Excellent chapter.
| Kytten chapter 18 . 4/29/2008
I absolutely love this story. I think it's wonderful and amazing and just about any other good adjective I can think up at a moment's notice. If you don't post again soon, I might just have to track you down and LOOM over your shoulder until you get the next chapter done. You are absolutely NOT allowed to leave it there.
| demonrubberducky chapter 18 . 4/29/2008
Oh, suspense! Is Adrian's spell just rubbing off on Sebastian, or are there spells tied to his mysterious past? I want to know! Rest, recover, feel better, and then update for us, ok?