Reviews for Intrigue At The Crowned Jewel
Rubadub chapter 12 . 3/29/2008
Fantastic plot going on here.

If I had to list all of the things I loved about this my computer would most likely have an overload and the world wide web would be disabled for months due to the massive amount of verbose praise I would send your way.

That said I'll stick to the basics and compliment you on your characters, most especially Sebastian/Viper/Quartz seeing as his personality shifts to fit each role and he pulls it off beautifully due to your mad skills.

Also I'm in love with the interaction between the characters as well as the setting. The world of The Crowned Jewel has sucked me in and I can't wait to dive back in when the next chapter is posted.

Lovely story,


P.S. You go on my Author Alert list and on my faves!
abbybyrd chapter 12 . 3/28/2008
OH MY GOD! "Doesn't end on a cliff-hanger" my ##!

Lmao, well needless to say i wasn't expecting that... :)

Another wonderful chapter! Though i can't believe Viktor got back in and hurt Sebastion again! Gr. Sounds like he got what was coming to him though.

And yay for random kissing with Lime Jade!

Can't wait for the next chapter! especially with that ending

emptyword chapter 6 . 3/28/2008
I try to review for every chapter I read on this site, but I haven't yet for this story because I am simply unqualified on several levels. Mine would be a gushing review, quoting a fourth of the chapter that leaped out to me and raving about the rest. I can tell you your writing style is stunning and fluid and feels like following a fragile, thrumming thread in the darkness, leading me through a world I've never dreamed of and down a journey that has me at the edge of my seat. I can tell you the depth of your main character has my head turning trying to map out his wants and fears and flaws - and still his brilliance does not drown out the shine of the other characters. I can tell you your storytelling is a beautiful blend of tight and loose, gripping and whimsical, somehow so unique and one of my favorites in the fantasy genre. But in the end, all I would be telling you is that I love love love this story and your writing, and it is an incredible pleasure to read. What a gift to the Internet you have given.
Three Score and Ten chapter 12 . 3/27/2008
Woah. O_O This was a mysterious chapter. Events happened very fast, but I think the pacing was still good-I didn't feel to overwhelmed and there was enough description to round it out so it wasn't just a stream of occurances one after the other.

Also, it had Jade in it. _

I am looking forwards to the ways in which these mysteries will unfold...particularly the interesting theme you're building here with masks and faces...
Feel The Waltz chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
Ah this story is absolutly amazing! Why an earth is there not more reviews? I simply adore Sebastien, though am still abit wary of him. New avid reviwer here :)
Aime Atem chapter 11 . 3/26/2008
O, this story is fantastic. I know that you want an informed review, but it honestly reduced me to a mass of quivering goo, not the best state to produce such. I hope you can accept my congratulations and manage to update soon!
Three Score and Ten chapter 10 . 3/23/2008
Still love Jade.

Other than that, since that comment must be getting old from me, my suspicions about Adrian's identity have now been confirmed. Go me. _

Also, I loved the information about the world in this chapter-I think you build some of the most interesting, original societies I've ever read in fantasy, and you manage to communicate them without boring the audience with random information-dumps. Eagerly awaiting more.
Touch-of-Frost chapter 3 . 3/22/2008
This is an extrememly detailed story so far. Most writers tend to keep things simple, but you go all out. The names, the languages, hierarchy within the Crowned Jewel, and even different 'services' offered at it are well-depicted and developed. As are the characters, actually, though Black Viper to Sebastien to Black Viper is a bit ocnfusing as of yet. Maybe a bit more clarity on the two personalities and why this man has two in the first place might clarify. I am absolutely in love with Viper/Sebastien by the way, and I really hope that Adrian comes back and eventually gets a taste of Viper. It would be very interesting to see how Adrian would react to finding his gender-bending sweetheart is a man... I can't tell you enough how I love the gender-bending theme in this story; please keep it going!
abbybyrd chapter 9 . 3/17/2008
Oh my goodness! I really like this chapter! I think Jade is becoming one of my favorite characters. He's so interesting! He can be cocky and timid at the same time. I hope he and Sebastian will be able to work things out.

Oh, and it's driving me crazy trying to figure out who Adrian is! I have my suspicions but they could be totally off for all i know.
Three Score and Ten chapter 9 . 3/17/2008
JADE! I feel so amazingly bad for him, but at the same time I love his parts of the story, sad as they are. I really hope we'll be seeing more of him soon.

Also, for my part, I really like the feel of the society you've created. I think the research really shows; you've sort of put together an amalgamation of various ancient cultures, and they've mixed to create something quite original and lovely. Great chapter, can't wait for more!
simality chapter 8 . 3/15/2008
I love your story. I really have no suggestions, everything seems awesome already. Please update soon.
A Scarred Soul chapter 8 . 3/13/2008
Wow, this is getting intense! haha The drama! Poor Sebastian, I feel so sorry for his situation, and I can't wait to find out more about Adrian.

The world you've created is very rich and stunning, really awesome job! And the characters are really well developed so far!

And I saw Sebastian! hehe He's cute, I really like the picture. I can't wait to read more!
Rayne Auster chapter 8 . 3/12/2008
Very cute story. I have my suspicions as to Adrian's real identity but I think I'll keep them to myself for now and see if I'm right. :D
A Scarred Soul chapter 7 . 3/8/2008
Aw, Sarrin is adorable, I want to glomp it! Eh, I keep wanting to call Sarrin a he too, lol. Haha, I loved the little joke at the end, it was cutely funny. And eek, I can't wait to find out more on Lime Jade, YAY!

And, I think the link might be messed up. Or I'm just inept. That's a very likely option. Anyway, I couldn't find any picture of Sebastian, just a youtube profile with various amvs, mostly for Kingdom Hearts. (Which rocks of course!) Sadness!

I definetly see where your coming from on the excitement for your story, I often feel that way. However, I have to keep my ideas to myself cause I'm the only one that writes in these kinds of categories (despite my empty stories written profile). hehe

Ah, I love Tamaki, he's such a riot! He's my absolute favorite character in Ouran, with others as close, tied seconds. lol And yes, his vanity does resemble Sebastian's, though I think it's toned down . . . a lot. lol Honestly, I wouldn't have called him vain, though I suppose that's my non-analyzing ways talking again. Whoops!

I can't wait to read more, and I wish you luck on your paper, sculpture, article, group project and paper, and powerpoint. Gosh, that's so much, I'm so sorry you have to do so much! (There were a lot of "so"s in that sentence, weren't there? -.-u)
Three Score and Ten chapter 6 . 3/8/2008
*flail* JADE! Don't be sad, I wuv you! T_T

...uhm. That was meant to be more intelligent. Let's try again: this is a wonderful story. The characterization is stunningly original as is the concept of the world and setting, and teh writing style is the perfect mix of description and action with a god flow and pace. The main character is indeed very flawed but at the same time very likeable and overall *intruiging*; he really makes us want to learn more about him and his life.

Also, as you might have noticed, Jade sort of stole the show for me this chapter. I actually didn't like him much when he was firt introduced but now that we know him better I'm rather enamoured. I really hope there will be more about him later. It's a rare story whose secondary characters are just as interesting and well-developed as the protagonists; not just Jade but every member of Sebastian's 'family' is interesting and seems to have their own story to tell.

I am so glad to have found this story; thank you so much for writing it!
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