|Reviews for taking the sky|
| Basic Ignorance chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
there is deep meaning in your first two lines
for me my brain translated it in this way
your poem talked about the pressures of industrialization and the odd draw it has to some people even though the city life is full of pollution there is still a serentiy that draws you in
i like sky-takers it is like the high power ceo's that pollute and add green house gasses to the world
they really do take the sky away
hmm the things in parenthese confused me..
i do not get the meaning and i think it does not help the message
| fatbird33 chapter 1 . 3/9/2008
i liked the begining and i liked where you were headed, but the last line was awkward.
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| Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 3/3/2008
One suggestion: make lines 2&3 one line to keep the rhythm of this piece even. Also, you only need one ')' on the last line.
Otherwise, it's simple but interesting. A honest little "missing you" poem.
| Shadows in the Fire chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
I love this poem-I do feel like 'sky' was used a few too many times, but otherwise it's so pretty and great-just take away the extra ) at the end :D
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
Quality quick snapshot. The way that you've made it burst with specific details elevates the disconnection. The voice also works well in getting the reader to relate to the situation. Very well written. MD:77.
| lost for words chapter 1 . 2/19/2008
quite lovely, it's beautiful in its honesty.