|Reviews for the drift ii|
| One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
I liked the last line of this haiku because of the imagery it inspired.
However, I did not like it's disjointed placement. It made it so I saw the last line first, which ruined the first two 'beginning' lines.
So I'd fix that up if I were you.
- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon (link in my profile)
| right2reality chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
I loved the last line! The imgery you create is so beautiful and unique: a truly great haiku! Keep up the good work!
| Basara chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
whence these had become?
| burning in effigy chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
i actually saw the third part first, but wanted to read the first two
and again, love the imagery (second line... again) and i like how the third line is broken away from the other two in isolation, allowing to have a more profound effect
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
Wow. Beautiful. You are truly a master of the haiku. :) I love that last line. Gorgeous. Keep writing! :)
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
The offset end line is extraordinary. It visually forms a platform for the first two lines to delve into, while enhancing their imagery. Quite interesting. Great write. MD:77.
| daretobe-dIfFeRnT chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
ohh I love haikus
I can never ever write them but I love them:)
| Kaia Zeffirelli chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
Wow. I love your work! You are great at haiku! ) Keep it up!