Reviews for Sweet Dreams
FictionA chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
What I like: expressionism for the venue and the character appearance and actions. Well-chosen words. Easy to follow (yes, romance fictions must be easy to follow; I write sci fi - so I am wicked. hehehe).

What I dont like: Probably I'm not a romance type, but I don't think sex is a good start chronologically - and not in first few chapters anyway.. even though it is just a dream :)

To me, romance is something that must be developed with patience over a period of time. Actually in romance stories, it is not sex. It is love making, which is made with love that is well established and well proved. Also, I think I'd love a better prelude, perhaps candles, perhaps nice conversation, perhaps some clues about how difficult it is that they finally stay together.

Also, I did not have a good idea about how the two characters feel. Would love it if facial expressions are there in the story.
The Lucy Program chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
I very much enjoyed the simplicity in the complexity of this piece. Your language and word structure was very mature and eloquent, and yet it was completely clear as to the point you were trying to make. I also liked your descriptions, particularly in describing the girl. It was almost poetic, and I could really get a sense and a feel for the surroundings. Good job. :]
rowena chapter 2 . 7/29/2009
very sweet :) I like how it's kept anonymous-you don't know their names or anything about them except they love each other. good job -rowena
ihrtbks chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
This is cute. I adore the language; it's so much more mature than the trite stuff usually found. I especially like how you kept the idea short; this entire story (besides the falling asleep part) can't have possibly taken more than ten minutes! Just a wow story all around. The paragraphs were a bit long though; you may wish to break into sections about as long as the last; it's difficult to read long paragraphs on screen.