Reviews for Moon River
annawilliam chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
this is one of the most beautiful stories I have read on this site. your writing is poetic and the story itself is heartbreaking. wonderful!
Kitty chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Love your story. love your character. how he's not perfect and not the strongest person. how she's not a perfect cook. But I cant help but think they're not going to end up happily ever after
far chapter 1 . 10/24/2010
Wow.

Simply Wow.

That is all I can say.
Promiscuous Misprocuous chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
So, it's been a really long time since you posted this story, but I just wanted to tell you that I think it's really beautiful.
Jezzi89 chapter 1 . 7/23/2010
Yes,I like it because it was so realistic and incredible.I say,I enjoyed it and thanks for that.
PolexiaSnicket chapter 1 . 6/27/2010
one of the most beautiful things i've ever read. so touching and life-like :) you're a great writer
sherbetsi chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
Y'know. That was pretty goddamn beautiful.

Sian x
ess3sandra chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
i really enjoyed it, beautiful words. her story. and when he cried and made pasta. and when his brother said he ws gay.

when they arespeaking, i usually go ofr a '' when its conversation, it makes it less messy, and its easier to detect it so you dont have to go back and reread the previous sentence. you really build the story up, higher and higher with more feelings and interaction and in the end it felt kind of normal. good, yes, but you could have done an emotional finish, finish it with a bang.

i hopw you write more, this was really good, i enjoyes it immensely.
FizzyLizzy chapter 1 . 5/15/2010
I can feel the effort and the adventure in this story. That's what makes it so special. I've fallen in love with the characters and their flaws. I only wish I could know more about Boris. :)

I really don't want to be a cliché and motormouth about how good this story is. Because it is. Good, that is. More than good. So I'll just say that it is deep, sad, confusing, angry, lovely and alive. And I want to thank you for writing it and for allowing us to read it.

Liz xx

And, by the way, I'm still eating my hands waiting for you to update Counting Chickens. Just so you know. :)
WishBlade chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
I think...that your story was real. It was scarily real, but that made it beautiful to me. Not idealistic, not cynical, just real. I don't know how I feel about it, but there was a beauty in there I haven't seen before. You're a wonderful writer ]
J.C Jackals chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
When I saw the number of reviews I thought I was going to read a cookie cut-out sweet story with a twist.

But this is so much more than that. It's gritty and soft and heart warming with such a realistic sweetness.

It's a real joy to read good stories like Moon River and the style has a charm all its own.
Professoress chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
Beautiful. It made me want to watch Hepburn movies and cry into my pillow. :) Really well written!
A Perfect Sonnet chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
OH. MY. GOD. (I'm struggling with a kind of awe that makes me feel utterly incoherent and I'm trying to get it out of my system now.)

This is the most painfully, heart-achingly beautiful and meaningful story I have read on this site (and maybe even one for my list of ever beyond this site too). I want to memorize it and tattoo quotes of it across my memory and carry it around with me always. I want to look honestly at people I know and associate them with this kind of poetry that is at once objective and critical and idealized and abstract and sewn together with so much feeling.

I cannot convey to you how phenomenal this was, but you have achieved something meaningful (or at least it feels that way to me) and I want you to know that. I've been hoping for something like this, reading purposefully through stories and stories and stories for someone who could see the imperfections of people and write about them like they are necessary. And they are. And I don't cry over love stories or Shakespearean tragedies or nature documentaries when the lion eats the antelope, but I cried at this. Not because it was so sad or even so beautiful (although I cry over beauty more often than sadness), but because it was so honest and I could feel how present you were within it and how much it meant to you. I don't think you weren't trying to make it mean something to me (but maybe you were), only to yourself, and that is why it did end up meaning something to me.

Yeah, I ramble a lot and I'm sorry, but I have to keep it up for a while longer because I have over 8,0 characters left and I could use them all if I thought you were actually interested in reading a review that long.

I just... never actually expected to find something like this on FP, even though I've always wanted to. And I never expected to find it outside of FP either, because sometimes it seems like there are too many rules about writing in the real world and this story kind of goes beyond them in a way. There's something singular and unique about it and I think I'm getting incoherent again.

Pen is so relatable (and yet untouchable, because she's made up of so much I wish I could be, but feel like I only am in my imagination) and even more so when balanced against Connor's flaws and how his imperfections sometimes give her more imperfections too. The threads of resistance and communal need are so tangible between them. And Connor is so unidealized and actual. I know people like him. I've dated boys like him that are stupid and self-destructive and say hateful things sometimes and surprise you with their honest moments and start to feel poetic when you aren't paying enough attention (and become emotionally dangerous because in those inattentive moments).

Usually I hate when people don't use quotations for dialog and I was surprised at how well it works here. That and the roman numerals and the italic preambles made me feel like the story was being read to me in a whisper, like I was privy to it (and that it was so personal) instead of reading something that was openly posted to the world. All of the little details in the technical way you wrote this just fit so well with the quirky style of the narrative.

I also adored the haphazard way you tossed in references and how it was the haphazardness that made them so important or expressive or whatever it was that they were because I can't find the right word. It gave such a breath of life to the characters though. It made me laugh at them sometimes for attempting to be pretentious, but love them because secretly I knew they meshed too well with their personalities to actually be pretentious. Instead it really just came off as some kind of statement on the way they laced laced their words with knowledge so even when they were saying nothing it still felt substantial.

And and and there was a line. Somewhere. About Conor. And I wanted to remember it so I could tell you how if it had been the only line you had written about him, it was so perfect and descriptive of his personality that I would have felt like I knew everything about him. Just from that one line. And I do feel that way. And I also feel like I've tried to write that line before, but I could never find the words and that's how I feel about this whole story. Not only that I wish I could write this phenomenally or that I've tried and don't feel like I've achieved, but that the lines... oh god, the individual lines are stories within themselves.

I'm going to have to re-read this just so I can find that line again.

And I know I will feel that way about a lot of lines within this and I will constantly have to come back to this, searching out lines and words and phrases, until I have memorized it. Because I was serious when I said that earlier.
CassandraRose526 chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
This was a really amazing story. There was a genuineness . . . a raw realness to this story that's very hard to find. I also love the way it was written and even how in the end, you changed it to include quotation marks. I liked the parallel issues of a father who had left and a mother who had died. And Conner's attempts to make a dinner for Boris and Pen. The whole period issue was both funny and sad. Amazing job writing this . . . I loved it! Thank you so much for sharing it with us all.

Cassandra
Cydnee199 chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
This... This is incredible. I loved it. I feel very satisfied and emotional(?) after reading this- I thought it was brilliant. Your way of writing is different and awesome and memorable.

I think my favorite line is "She was the goddamn hunter and gatherer."

and the interaction(s) between Boris and Connor [the punch-in-the-eye bit was fantastic]

Well done.
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