|Reviews for Moon River|
| Hyperroll chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
thank you for writing this.
| shallow is as shallow does chapter 1 . 2/18/2009
what can i say that hasn't already been said. this story is a master piece .you took a simple one shot plot and turned it into something so much more.i really enjoyed how you did both perspectives .it was something i actually wasn't expecting. and the story flowed beautifully . hope you win the skow award for best one- shot you deserve it.
| Written chapter 1 . 2/8/2009
wow. wow. I don't even know what to say. uh, your writing is beautiful. like knock me out amazing wow how many times did you work on this beautiful. the words come out so easy and effortlessly beautiful. um. yeah.
I also love the many allusions. it gives your piece a real... feeling, like its a small story that's just another part of a greater story somehow but I dont know if that was your intention or what. it had a ... mythological feel to it. sort of larger than life.
but it was also very personal... it had a real tenderness. sweet and intense.
this was an AMAZING read. you have every right to be hella proud, is all I'm saying. the relationship you created and the words you used... well, I'm impressed.
I'm sorry that this review is all gushing and run ons, but I'm not going to remember anything I want to say if I wait to catch my breath.
| windyday chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
I don't think I'll ever read anything quite so wonderful ever again.
| queenB mackenzie chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
its and you shouldnt change a thing, you really shouldnt, because its perfect. i mean it. i love it.
| hannah chapter 1 . 11/21/2008
shouldn't it be: “You make me kinda nervous too,” she whispers back.
| Briana chapter 1 . 10/9/2008
That was really good. It had depth and substance without being bullshit and confusing,cause you know how people try to be deep but they sound like idiots? Well you didn't. You made sense and there was even a bit of surprise in there because I didn't realize that it was a think back story and I think that all of the mythology references you put were great. And yeah I liked that story. And I can completely relate to Pen when she speaks about her Dad.
| lumanarann chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Wow. Just...wow. Really good. And powerful. I loved it.
| grand piano chapter 1 . 8/31/2008
You've just left me speechless, and I really don't know what to think or say to you. Just reading this got me thinking how real this is, and wonderful the allusions you made are. I think Casablanca, Breakfast at Tiffany's... and My Fair Lady are my favourite classic movie. I'm pretty sure they are, but it's great how you used the two in here. I could practically hear Connor whispering the words to Moon River.
Anyhoo. Good job. This is perfection and I have nothing to critique :)
| Lady Katreina chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
This is the second time I've read this story. This is the second time I've burst out crying at the very end.
| TuneOut chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
This was great. You were very descriptive and as a reader, I could feel what the character was thinking.
You got major points for titling it Moon River. I love that song (i think it's very romantic or at least, the score is) along with the movie that it was featured in.
| mishiema chapter 1 . 7/13/2008
Stunning. Absolutely stunning.
The style is beautiful, and the way you so easily together biblical, mythological and contemporary references with modern personal issues just took my breath away. I even love the way you use profanity.
| skydancersrule chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
Wow... that was probably one of the most emotional pieces I've ever read. Fantastic. I love how you mixed in the "normal" style of writing you usually read in romances (like words such as chickenshit, douche, sniggers, etc.) and a more formal kind of.. spiritual (?) style. I don't know, maybe I just noticed that, but I liked it. Just everything was excellent. Honestly, I loved it. (:
| chouchou chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
This is amazing and heartfelt and sincere and god, it's been so long since I've read a one-shot and nearly cried over it. I love the character Connor and the fact that your characterization of him is so sincere and honest. Their love isn't 'perfect' or 'cliche' or invented upon a plotline that forces them into situations together. Ever so real and ever so something that I think every girl can kind of relate to, in some way..
| AK chapter 1 . 6/26/2008
This was incredibly beautiful. I love how you've connected things together, the metaphors and the little mythological references. It wasn't an easy piece in that I had to re-read it several times. At times it felt too personal, confessional. But the beautiful thing was that after every read, I found a new facet to a part of the story, a new revelation... And I could connect to the character of Pen & Connor, the former reminding me rather of myself... It felt a little choppy at times, rather gritty but the latter bit made it beautiful and real. Sometimes I think I don't get some of the allusions ("good fences make good neighbors"), the reference to Pen's mother ("Her mother had always wanted to see herself reflected in her daughter, and oh, if only her mother could see her now")... and then it seems to all fall into place & add depth to the characters and their relationships. The part about the fences reminds me of how Pen needs Connor in spite of his cruelty... And the mother-daughter part added to Pen's demons regarding her mother and the effect of the absent father. I can't express everything I felt about this story in words, but it was rather wonderful and refreshing. Keep writing; you can really be proud of this piece!