|Reviews for Die, Everyone's Doing It|
| daniJBG chapter 17 . 10/5/2008
so I read this story in one day which kept me glued to the computer which isn't something I do often. It really captivated me especially with your deliah charcter because I kind of see parts of myself in her at times which did amuse me a little. Then again she isnt the only freedom thinker in the world now is she? She did find gasoline (oh such a sexy symbloic name in my eyes). Anyways I kind of realized that I think everyone deep down sort of loves that maschosim aspect of love at times, I mean why cant we it's the greatest thrill. Everytime I read a scene that dealt with the content, shivers ran up my spine, a very good sign of an amazing writer. I cant help but notice some of the existentialist points of views in here which in my mind borders on nihilism in the sense that they get confused all the time. That I think is what spark and gasoline are most of the time either one or the other but never the same entirely because that's not their nature to be the same but they can be confused. I love the relationship of the two and the destructivness of that realtionship because it just seems something out of the ordinary when two people who may or may not be in love can hurt and possibly kill each other. What I'm getting by that is, that youve created such a dynamic pair with this story I coundt get away from the computer only because I needed to know what was going to happen next.
Now my critique sigh thres always one and I'm sorry free hug for you with sugarpatch kids okies! Anyways I think that Gasoline and those friends of his sort of go into that sterotype of the kids who do skip school and loit around. See I went to a school where it was sort of expected for all its teenagers do such things which kind of misses the entire point of gasoline and spark being different and not conforming into a preconceived notion of life. Then again you did mention that greatly in an earlier chapter when you wrote conforming to the noncormist lifetsyle (cant remember the exact line but you get the gist of it hehehe). I think that maybe delving more into the destruction and anarchist being of life they both want would just make it another bonnie and clyde sort of in a sid and nancy aspect that both the pair are verging on. I dont mean to be mean and Im sworry but please try and give a new spin on that aspect so I dont even think about Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen and go whoa! that is sexy and defintely different.
More of Gasoline's persceptive on life and maybe a little more dialogue going between the two which at times seems one sided but hey who wouldnt want a guy like him talking nonstop and in control at various times? I think Deliah is going to need to up her own game in the teasing and hurting division and really make him bleed instead of the other way around. Sort of the blowing of the mind and he's all wtf! I guess she needs to be more dominant at times (not always) which will make the shivers up my spind turn to butterflie in the stomach oh baby oh dear that sounds so dirty.
But yes, I love this story and was worth staying up to 5:30 in the morning to read (gaspe! need to work in two hours! ahahahha). I guess it gives conformt that other people can sort of think and write the same way as I do then again maybe we should both be worried :o! Now Im kind of sad because I caught up with your epicness and have to wait like evryone else for the next chappie, ah well Im sure its worth the wait. Keep writing because what you got here in silver under the rainbow which will soon turn to gold the way its headed anyways thaks mate!
| Aleksy The Flying Onion chapter 17 . 10/3/2008
What is there to say about this chapter, and this story for that matter, but W.O.W?
I sorry I haven't been able to catch up on Die until now. MY GOD was I missing out! This is one of, if not the, greatest things I have read on fiction press.
I thought this was an amazing chapter. It felt so real and genuine. PUBLISH THIS NOW!
You are a god.
| Capsaicin chapter 17 . 10/2/2008
I cannot even put into words how impossibly and insanely wonderful this story is. I can't see why your not happy with this chapter-I thought it was fantastic.
Can't wait for your next update!
| Twist Their Emotions chapter 17 . 10/1/2008
Such fantastic writing. Dazzling. It is so thought-provoking. Heartbreaking and beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Great characters also. They're so deliciously twisted. This is good enough to publish. Just wow.
| awesomelyme chapter 17 . 9/28/2008
I think the chapter turned out pretty good. Either way, CainDelilah always equals Fantabulous.
| Christy Leigh Stewart chapter 17 . 9/28/2008
I'm late! All my computers broke...One right after another...
What can I say about this story? I would like to make bumper stickers of your best lines and cover my car in them lol
As for chapter 17, I don't know why you aren't happy with it! It's great!
| Twist Their Emotions chapter 1 . 9/26/2008
Fabulous Fantastic. Fascinating. Brilliant. Poetic.
| sunsetting chapter 15 . 9/21/2008
aww, that sucks. my review got cut in half. & i'm reviewing on ch15, 'cause apparently you can only review one chapter once or something? but yeah, this review's still for 17, fyi. sorry for that. uh, anyways, what i was saying, that quote:
that whole paragraph. delilah's a puppet -giggles- it's interesting how that turns out, esp. since at the beginning, she just wanted to actually, actually take control of her life. & now, she's cain's little doll. only not rly.
"But it’s difficult to stop sinning when hell feels so damn good." & this can so easily apply to real life.
oh & "Are we doing the right thing?" breakthrough. that's what we call a breakthrough, right? right? delilah's having second doubts. finally.
and cain quoting the bible: hm. interesting. -hasn't actually read the bible, 'cause.. well, athiest- but is that an implication that cain is? was? still is, because you can't just ever forget your past?
"Watch us break the rules like glass. Line them up and I’ll shoot them dead." was pretty amazing, too, by the way. glass shatters when guns go bang. i'd be scared to even hold a gun. "think of all the possibilities"... to quote you. (:
"Do you think if I make God angry enough he’ll pay attention?" this is so amazingly bitter & human. i love it.
& delilah's philosophy on love : "He was using me; he’d been sure to tell me that, but really did it matter? I was using him too. Was that what love was all about; using another person to make yourself happy?" it's so... her. so cynical. i never thought about it that way, but that's what humans are all about, huh.
& delilah's almost love confession. & cain's rejection. burnburn. cain is so cold, haha.
"Of course. Let’s lie then. After all, everyone’s doing it." i love how contradictory this is to the entire story/the first chapter. if everyone's doing it, she wanted out. oho.
"After all, there are some things that heaven just doesn’t have to offer."
the last sentence was made of win. apparently, i've never thought about a lot of things, haha. well, cain quoted: "you shall not commit adultery" & they both expect to get into heaven. oho. am i missing something?
i love your angst. i really, really do. the cynical words you use, the way deliah thinks, the self-destruction/healing... i love it.
& your author's note:
1. i update slow too. and most of the time, it's bc i forgot about -current story- ):
2. hmm... well, now that i've read it & reread it, i do see your point. it was intense, yes, but it wasn't so... epic, i guess. it still captures the brilliance that makes this story what it is, but how intense was it supposed to be? jc.
but still, i rly do love this. you're always offering the most amazing ideas and concepts. & i honestly can't wait to see more. oh, and even more honestly, i do want to see them both die so bad. hah. but wtv, ignore me.
i hope this -entire- review was coherent. oh & can't wait to see more out of this. (:
| sunsetting chapter 17 . 9/20/2008
oh, uh, wow, plz ignore the fact that I'm reviewing... quite a few days after you updated. (i've always been a bit on the lazy side.)
ohk... it took me a while to figure out how to start this review off. & i've been running ideas through my head over and over, but i'll start at the beginning, i guess. i'll try to be coherent. (and i'll try myverybest not to quote the whole chapter.)
uh, i like how the first paragraph established the things that are just so obvious, but you bring it up to a wholenew level: "because all you really want is to understand". & don't we all.
i'm pretty sure i expressed this before, but i lovelovelove delilah's thought processes. so fcking bitter.
& that metaphoric cliff. man, again? jk, tho, honestly, i rly don't like it. but i do see how it's necessary for your story, so uh, i'll shut up here. & technically, didn't delilah already jump? maybe she didn't free fall to the bottom, but she's taking little leaps down. down. down.
"And the drug at my side keeps stoking my insanity..." i loved how you rendered cain a drug. b/c for delilah, it's so true. it's just so fcking true. and you know what they say about drugs- they make you feel good. (and they're badd for you.)
and, well, more of your words i loved... and still love:
"The variables don’t matter in the equation, not the signs or the numbers. It’s all in that second half, the equal sign and the answer. Mathematical law doesn’t work with people. Only chaos theory."
"Should it bother me that he holds all the strings?..."
| JustinBizard chapter 17 . 9/19/2008
Love the story so far. Chuck Palahniuk would be proud...
| She Had Somewhere To Go chapter 17 . 9/18/2008
LOVE it. :)
| AmberAmbushed chapter 17 . 9/17/2008
I loved this chapter...just like all the other ones. haha. It actually was pretty epic and intense. lol. I really loved the line, "Watch us break the rules like glass. Line them up and I’ll shoot them dead." I can't even explain how good this story is. You analyze everything like love and hatred so differently but its so interesting, and sometimes true. I can't wait for the next chapter, please don't wait so long to update next time!
| swellhats chapter 17 . 9/17/2008
Why are you just so amazing? Seriously, you better publish this, and when you do send me a copy with your signature.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go sulk in a corner at my inability to actually finish at least one chapter.
| Faith Adeline chapter 17 . 9/16/2008
I really liked it. I thought the ending of the chapter was great! Just the way you worded was like, wow. haha. So, yay. I thought it was pretty epic. Keep it up!
| authordream4life chapter 17 . 9/16/2008
it was fabulous, though! i loved every single second of it!
Of course...the 'fade to black with thousands of implications' thing was a bit of a tease. XD it really was good, though.
keep on, please! i am VERY eager for more!