|Reviews for Arco The Arch|
| colorful chapter 2 . 2/27/2008
Again with the music lyrics-they seem a bit forced, but I liked this chapter, too. The whole exchange about the movie seemd a tad forced as well. But who cares, that's what editing is for :) Great job!
| colorful chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
So, yeah - I think this is my favorite piece of all the stuff you've written, you introduced the characters perfectly, and you just wrote it beautifully, my dear. Two things I noticed:
One: the mentioning of CTF seems kind of forced and too detailed... I'm not telling you what to do, but it just kind of seems that it would make more sense if you just mentioned the band, not the distinct songs or CDs.
Two: “What was that, Stewerts?” Circe called to me, using my last name to address me.
"Using my last nape to address me" isn't needed, reader can inference that Stewerts is her last name.
But darling it's wonderful! I love it, a lot. :) Great job, I want to read this one!