Reviews for Revenge
emmaliefje chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
Nice. Very angry. (stating the obvious). There were some awkward rhymes, but who can blame you, if you in such a rage.

I fear for whoever you were mad at...
W. Griffin chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
that's pretty clever - i love the x's and o's separating the stanzas, they are really necessary to the poem's effectiveness!

-w. griffin
Whaaoouusses chapter 1 . 3/1/2008
I love it!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
I like this.. especially the ending.. the dr Jekyll reference was awesome...

Two things... the unawares is wrong and obviously just there to make it rhyme so you might work on that.. maybe the first line could be "I want to show you I don't care" I dunno just a thought

Also The way I begged from you.. this seemed odd.. since theres no reference anywhere you you begging that person, plus begged from you seems wrong... how do you beg from someone?

Anyhow it was really angry and well expressed.. I like how the images got more powerful as it went on.. like your anger was growing...

PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile
smile for the sunshine chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
i think it was incredibly well written. your rhyme scheme was nice; didn't sound forced at all (except on the one part: unawares should just be simply left as unaware...people would understand if the rhyming wasn't perfect). i think the descriptions were great and the poem was well written even if a little angsty. i am angry right now so i can relate right now evne if that isn't the best thing...

good job.

ps. here with the review marathon. check out the link on my profile.
Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
"catch you unawares"

there is no "s" in unaware

I must admit, I was a bit weary about this poem at the first paragraph. But that gradually faded with each of the paragraphs as it became better and better. You really portrayed the anger well, I think.

"And laugh when you ask why"

the ask why didn't really fit in with the rest. At least I don't think so. It was a small awkward moment. I mean, it fits with the context, but not the flow.

Anyhow, good,strong poem! Well delivered emotion!

"I’ll be Dr. Jekyll when my eyes are dry."


- Frac, from the Review marathon, sponsored by the Review Game (link in profile)