|Reviews for Men in the Shadows|
| The Sun and Shadow chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
Be careful of switching from present to past tense. Pick one, and stick with it.
I would have liked to see some more descriptions added in. Right now, there is a lot of dialog; it would be nice to break that up with some narrative description here and there.
Also, be careful of your paragraphing. I noticed that you weren't starting new paragraphs where they should be.
With some editing, I think the story has potential to be decent. Just work on further developing your characters and plot.
| HappinessGal chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
Um...can you remember to keep it in either past or present tense? It gets confusing otherwise. That aside, great story!