|Reviews for Illness|
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
Your last line is great! It's funny, though- your lines seem to alternate between amazing and forced. Perhaps this is heightend by the odd last words to sentences as their own lines- this breaks up otherwise nice phrases, without giving the benefit of repetition to improve the overall poem. You're clearly great at poetry, but perhaps you should reread this in a few weeks and change things that don't seem to work in your mind.
-Yna, from the Review Marathon- see the link in my profile!