|Reviews for Wanna have|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
really nice piece.. i especially love how the first line and the last line go together... and the parts you italicized were really great as well.. the descriptions of the body parts you wanted to have was probably my favorite part
| sleeplessblue chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
I like the idea of this one a lot, but here are two suggestions:
Use "Want to" instead of "wanna" which isn't even a contraction, but slang. And "to know why you feel strangled" instead of "to know why you feel asphyxiation. Mainly because it slows down the beat a little with the longer word.
And a couple grammar errors: "I wanna have your heart and keep myself in [it]"
"even if I know this can't get back" You need a noun to tell us what you can't get back.
Sorry for going into editor-mode. Here are my favorite line: "I wanna have your eyes/to know how you see the world" and "I wanna have your lips/ to know how you kiss when you're in love."