|Reviews for The Landlord Called|
| Halfbloodlycan chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
That was an interesting story. I like the point of view.
| Thracian chapter 1 . 2/27/2008
I like how this is written especially the way the main character's voice is projected throughout this. That first line just really made me want to read more.
e.g.: "I feel like yelling at all of them to shut the fuck up so I can think clearly"
It's really raw and realistic, to me at least seeing how the people I know and I myself speak like this all the time. I also like the way you described the characters and what was going on, you didn't waste time on the scenery or anything, just got straight to the point.
One thing though, you've got dialogue bunched up in that massive fourth paragraph...It'd stand out a little more if you indented each time dialogue appeared like you seemed to be doing at the end. But anyway, nice job on this and I see you're new to this site (or your account is at least) so...Welcome to Fiction Press. Nice penname by the way.