|Reviews for Domestic Abuse|
| mdnutmeg chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
Intense subject matter. The poem has a good message and is very true to the situation. I like your use of italics, it shows a lot of thoughtfulness in your work. I like that it's very prose-like and personable. My only critiscism would be that you don't really go far outside the realm of reality, it might be nice to have some more abstract descriptions, instead of showing us exactly what's going on, create some openess and implication with some varying of descriptive words:
"ignore the blood
Dripping from battered face and fractured nose."
could be equally as strong, I think, were you to replace "blood" with something like "scarlet" to reference the color, or even "scarlet iron" to represent the color and biological make-up.
in any case nice job :)
| The Melancholy Cocoa Bean chapter 1 . 2/26/2008
this is very bitter, it has a kind of rawness to it
i can really relate to the anger