|Reviews for Drop Shots|
| watercolour dreams chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
Wow. You wrote this beautifully. The emotion was very powerful. I loved the whole "Smack" part. That really gave it impact. I could practically hear the ball being smacked every time. Very nice. You're an awesome writer.
| C Pierre chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
Great delivery of your emotions I must say. All that smacking was wonderful!
| CleavageMouse chapter 1 . 2/3/2009
yay? I mean...this one hit me somewhere. I do the same kind of thing, writing-wise. it's theraputic, especially when you know someone's listening. (or maybe it's the other way around? I don't know.)
anyways, good luck. i'd like to say that broken hearts mend, and I'm sure they do, but...good luck.
| BeautyIsn'tSkinDeep chapter 1 . 3/26/2008
wow! it's so short yet emotion isn't disregarded - extremely powerful! :D
| pete's sake delete the account chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
I liked this. The emotion is there, and the format of the longer intro followed by hitting the ball to get the emotion out and then a short conclusion reminds me of how it is when something makes me truly angry, especially when there's a feeling of hurt too. I get this tense, explosive energy; then, after I let it out, I'm too exhausted to be more than numbly sad. The way you used more words in the beginning, then one harsh feeling with each hit of the ball, and then the two tired concluding sentences really worked.
I do notice there are a lot of adjectives and descriptions in the first paragraph. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it actually adds to that sense of angry energy, but be careful that the adjectives add to the feeling instead of overwhelming or taking away from it. No purple prose!
Thanks for letting us read this. Most of us have felt the same way about somebody. It hits home.
| DancingChaChaFruit chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
My favorite paragraph is the first one. I can't really explain it. There's just something moving and retrospective in it that it resonates within me in a way ordinary things cannot. I know that's probably really unimportant to you, and the first paragraph's meant to be a mere introduction, but I just really, really like it.
I like this piece. I'm sure the fact that this is autobiographical really helped with emotion in the words.
But I don't really like the ending. It seems sort of anticlimactic, with the protagonist just picking up her belongings and leaving. It seems as though she wasn't there very long. I mean, it's possibly you intended for it to be that way, but I feel like you could have done something more with it.
So yes, that is my review. Nice writing. )
| The Cat Died Nobly chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
Oh, man. I can picture this very easily; sports are indeed a great way to vent ones' anger.
I really like this piece. It describes the relationship of the couple with a few words and it's well written.
| Lyssa O chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
I think you wrote this beautifully. I have a tendency to write really nice things that don't portray my own feelings, but I can't seem to put that feeling-writing connection together when I want to express how I feel. Maybe it's because I'm subconsciously afraid to get them out of my head. But I think I'm getting better on that. You may just inspire me to churn out a story that's not so fictional!
Anyway, enough about me. Mmhm, this is nicely written, and remember, I'm still here if you want to talk (Did you get my last PM? I'm not trying to sound like a harpy; haha, if you don't even want to talk to me, that's fine!)!
And I still need to get started on reading Six Weeks With Satan. School's currently kicking my behind to God knows where, but Spring Break is on its way after this week, so yeah. Be ready to get feedback from me on that.
Oh, and I love this line: ". . . leaving me alone with my thoughts. Today, though, their advent is unwelcome." Beautiful!
- et cetera et cetera
| GrannyP chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
Wow, this seemed very emotionally powerful, and well written. Whenever I try to write something even remotely autobiographical about my feelings, I end up on random rants that have nothing to do with anything happening in the present and then screaming unintelligibly at stuff. It's kind of funny actually. Once I wrote something like, "Am I the only person in this uniform that makes any sense?" when I meant to put "universe" instead of "uniform". That just made the whole sentence completely ironic. Wait, why am I telling you this? Whoops.
Anyway, I think it was a very good one-shot, even as short as it was. I especially liked how you put all the different synonyms for "hate" in there. Impressive.