|Reviews for Bunraku Seirei: Novicus|
| Hibito chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
You write with amazing skill. :) Sucked me right in.
| Melissa Norvell chapter 2 . 2/4/2009
First off, I am so sorry that I finally got around to reviewing again. Life is just stressful right now with the economy and everything and the only time I've been able to find to get online is to update quickly and leave, then I got side-tracked but I'm back to read the rest now and all of the other stories that coincide with this one!
I love your vivid imagry and expression of emotion. I wish that I could write as well as you do in that aspect. I'm getting better and I've noticed it with my recent writing in Sacrifice so I'm happy with that.
Ciane was really in a pinch there in the beginning of the chapter, what with the bathing and all. I wonder who that figure was that gave her the Hold. I think Ciane and Duke are a cute couple and only until this chapter did I consider that, lol.
I really liked the action scene between Ciane and Blasius as well. I read so steadily I forgot that I had food in the microwave.
It seems the silver animals were the spy or were helping the spy in some way. I'll be interested in who the Silver Bandit is as well. Also, Ciane seems to be hinding a lot of secrets from the others. I wonder what the end result of those actions will be.
Maybe I'll find out in the next chapter.
I also wonder if Ciane will beet the strange and mysterious figure in the upcoming Tournium.
| Written chapter 4 . 9/23/2008
very cool and original! the chapters are a bit long, but I like it. they are meaty.
it has its light hearted moments, too, which is good.
| Melissa Norvell chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
I only have one nitpick.
But I saw when he lifted it to the light his dark eyes widen, and I managed to glimpse what it was that he held before it disappeared into his pockets.
Widen should be widened. Other then that, I caught no mistakes.
This is definitely worth my read and I can see why it has so many reviews. I definitely will read the other stories that go along with this one. I'm glad that I finally read something well-written around here. You have me hooked!
I'm sorry that it took me this long to finally get around to reading this. I figured while I updated Sacrifice I could take a look at this during my break. Unfortuneately I can only read this one chapter for now.
My favorite character so far is a tie between Duke and Caine. I really love Caine's dry humor and Duke is quite the charming boy as far as attitude goes. He reminds me of a character I have in Sacrifice that comes along a little later. I picture him being British for some reason.
Blaisius is also an enigma, a true mystery that I'm interested in. His curse brings up many questions as well.
It seems Caine has himself a little team on his hands. It will definitely be interesting to see how he handles the situation with all three of them. He definitely has a task ahead of him.
| Dot Cubed chapter 3 . 7/28/2008
Hee, I love this story. The addition of Micah is a very interesting twist. I can't tell whether or not I should dislike him just because Ciane does, although Ciane got on my nerves a few times in this chapter (her obsession with the Silver Bandit being one of them, and the fact that all she wants to do is further her own interests, because I love all your other characters so much) so I think I'm going to stick with liking Micah. Although now he is half-dead, which sucks. I'm a little confused, though; how'd he know Ciane was a girl in the first place? I really liked the fight scene, if you can call it that. It was very in the moment and tense.
I noticed a few grammar things, so these'll be my dislikes, because there is nothing else to dislike about this story; it is just that good.
"flexing his hand in pain and clearly trying not to hiss in pain" -I think you should get rid of one of the "in pain"'s. It seems redundant.
Okay, I noticed a few more, but I don't know where they went! haha I probably should have cut and pasted. Anyway this was an excellent third chapter and I can't wait to read the rest! It saddens me that there is only one other chapter up here.
| Very Serious chapter 1 . 7/28/2008
This is so tight! This is a review-back for you...and I love your story! Seriously, it's thrilling. I like Ciane's personality especially-a little bit arrogant yet so calculating. I'm a fan.
One thing that bugged me was the phrase, "I narrowed my eyebrows." It's a little impossible to narrow your eyebrows without tweezers. I think you met "narrowed my eyes" or "furrowed my brow." Other than that, excellent!
I'm also curious...there's a link to a trailer on your profile...is this actually a serialized manga or something? Please do tell, I really want to know!
Anyway, will be back to read more later.
| Dot Cubed chapter 2 . 7/15/2008
Ciane's a girl? Haha, that was unexpected. Your summary is deliberately misleading! Evil author.
Anyway, loved this chapter. Can I just say that I love Duke? Because I love Duke. He's totes my favorite character, and I really have no idea why, but I love him. I like how Ciane is sort of...flipflopping, in this chapter. Or not really flip-flopping, but I think we get a side of her we haven't really seen before-and I think that's a side that can be corrupted towards evil. Or something. I don't even know if there's evil around. The end sort of gave off that vibe, though, because Ciane was enjoying the headband a bit to much.
I'm kinda confused about The Silver Bandit. Is he a shapeshifter? Can he transform into the deer and the snake? OR are the deer and the snake his Rhuagi? That wasn't really made clear, although I don't know if that was your intention. Either way, I'm not really sure how I feel about the guy, because he hurt Blasius, and I like Blasius.
| groovi-gal-numba1 chapter 2 . 7/15/2008
ciane is a girl! who! i'm glad you clarified that! as i said in my last review i wasn't entirely sure of her sex. Still, when it was said and clarified it seemed a little awkward in that part... i'm not sure why, but it didn't seem to flow as well as the of the story. lol maybe it was just the shock? idk.
but, as always your style is brillient. your use of decriptions and metaphors is brillient. It really sets up the mood!
There were some great character developments in this character!
and this chapter was a bit shorter than the other one... i think... lol or else it just felt that way coz it was so easy to read! good work once again!
| CandleQueen chapter 1 . 7/14/2008
1.) Okay, so is it supposed to be a necklace, or a bracelet that the boy gave him? You refer to it as both in the beginning.
2.) "My heartbeat pulse() in my hand a thousand beats more a minute. The boy froze for a moment and then disappeared like a coward around the next set of shelves."
Ad "ed" after "pulse."
Your writing style is wonderful; all of your characters are very intriguing and the setting was well described, but not overly detailed. It felt like I could have been there with them. And this 'ghost game' sounds like a great idea.
Very, very promising start.
| Dot Cubed chapter 1 . 7/13/2008
This is absolutely amazing. Words cannot describe how amazing it is. This review cannot describe the amazingness! I absolutely love your opening. It just draws the reader in so quickly in its simplicity, and in a way I feel it has some sort of magical quality about it. It's just perfect.
I really don't have anything to dislike. I love the world you've crafted, and the characters in it. For some reason I have a soft spot for Duke, haha. He amuses me. It's just like I can see this story jumping off the pages. Your characters are already so real and it's only the first chapter! Absolutely love it. And I really love the idea of the game. It seems almost like Pokemon to me, except a hell of a lot cooler.
| Jodirium chapter 4 . 7/1/2008
Eh, it was good. A little lengthy for me at this hour, but it was alright.
What I liked was that it was for the most part fairly easy to follow, and I could pick up on it from chapter four having not read the rest.
Your characters could be a little more interesting, and a little less typical. (: But, that comes in my opinion, and I'm not a big reader for these types of fics... More supernatural genres in modern day times is my liking.
- Signed as J.
| Lorki chapter 4 . 7/1/2008
I like this story, it seems like a very good original plot line, I'd like to see where it goes. I like the names of the characters too. I couldn't spot many mistakes, a few sentences seemed to short or too long but thats probably just my own bias. Over all, very nice
| ideallylonely chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
okay, i know i shud read the story, BUT
wat story do i read first?
sorry about my confunsination... "_ i am a twat.
| Mistval chapter 4 . 6/30/2008
Overall: I liked it :)
It seems like a very original story, and I'm always first in line for an Oriental adventure. I don't know, something about Asia piques my interest. I like your names for places too :)
There were some odd things though, and quite a few spelling grammatical errors. I know its rough to proofread such a long document though :p
"I hesitated, but the silly little boy who found pride in disobeying simply orders wasn't worth my time. Yet. Two weeks would pass before he'd begin to be worthless, I thought with the most delightfully sour of smiles aimed at him."
Simply should be simple, right? And it says the boy isn't worth time, but then it says he will become worthless in two weeks? I thought he was already worthless. Maybe I'm reading it wrong.
Oh, and my personal preference would be shorter chapters, but its your story :)
| Kichikaen chapter 1 . 6/27/2008
what does the title mean?