|Reviews for Comfort|
| Thenardier chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
This is a heartwarming piece, however, the rhythm seems to be slightly thrown off, due to the uneven syllable counts in each line. Other than that, it is a splendid read.
| Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 3/9/2008
The rhyming isn't bad but the main issue with this piece is that it's just so bland. It's overtly simplistic without really saying anything new about the topic and too short to really do anything.
Expanding would be a good idea as would giving this specific imagery and examples of the "happy ends" and what brings forth "bitter tears ". Remember, show don't tell.
Also, no need for the comma at the end of the first line.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
I like the internal rhyme in the first line... and those two phrases are also pretty nice... it's an awesome start, but the rest of it.. I dunno it didn't live up to the first line.. it was a bit predictable and the word choice wasnt so unique... I do like the day night contrast though
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I know you said you wanted constructive criticism... also if you want some more constructive criticism maybe check out the review game forum...
| wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 3/5/2008
You've converyed a really complex (for me anyway) emotion using simple language.. There's not much explanation, you just let the language do its own talking. Loved the style, and the rhyming is really good. Well done