Reviews for Buttoned Down
treewalker chapter 9 . 7/12/2008
lol! 'um, i haven't really planned on what to say besides that' i loved that part! keep up the good work and we'll be hanging for another chapter!

Darlberries chapter 8 . 7/11/2008



You carried it off aces sister. I...GEE WHIZ. 'Twas ace. And Edmund's a bit of a pervert; rawr.

I'm just it finished? Or is there more?
Darlberries chapter 7 . 7/11/2008
Ok, so now you're just BEGGING to be fanboyed!

And, because I am your no.1 fanboy (no other fanboys will do), it is only right and proper for me to give you a miniscule review that really doesn't say anything constructive or even detail what I liked about the chapter.

Darlberries chapter 6 . 7/11/2008






I just...loved this chapter? IT WAS SO SWEET! LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVEYRTHING NICE. And if there was anything wrong with it, I didn't notice 'cause I was too busy loving it too much. YEAH!

The kissing was just so...CUTE.

I'm reading on.
Darlberries chapter 5 . 7/11/2008
Guh. You edited this? It seemed the same as before to me. And the same as before is GOOD.

Hehehe. I loved the part where Avery was slammed into the wall.


And now, because I can't think of anything constructive to say, other than, you put "I open my mouth in surprise" rather than "I opened", I'm just going to carry on reading.

Because I can.

Bi-curious George (I changed my penname. PROBLEM!)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx chapter 8 . 7/10/2008
lol. Avery reminds me of my friend.

very good story, btw. i love it.

please update soon!
Darlberries chapter 4 . 7/6/2008
XD. I absolutely loved the part where Edmund walked into his closet. HOW APT.

And and and the disastrous kiss at the end *laughs a little*.

I do so love this story and I'll never ever criticise it again :D.

And I would review further, but I have to go beta for someone now, so tschuss!
Darlberries chapter 3 . 7/6/2008
Ok, so you raped me so badly with your review replies that I don't think I feel safe enough to leave my house...ever again. Cheers.

I get you about dinner, though I still think that's an odd way to eat O_O, but I've still got to say, that narrative wise, even if he's absolutely one hundred % certain about his eye colour, you should still describe him like someone's looking at him. Or in a way like that. 'Cause otherwise it's not first person narration anymore, it ventures into omniscience. GAH. I'm revewing now...

HAHAHA. The bit about the football players made me giggle. Girlishly.

*Gasps* Oh no he didn't! He...SAUCY! Rawr.


Oo-er. A rocket, eh? Rawl.

Avery makes me LAUGH. And I SO hate it when you think someone's calling your name and you tuen around and say 'yeah' and then it turns out they weren't calling your name at all...and you get laughed out of town.

Amelie Queen of random WTFness.

I'm so glad you went over this story. This chapter is the height of awesomeness and I'm never going to criticise your story again, because I want to live, mmk?
Darlberries chapter 2 . 7/4/2008
I love how Avery is SUCH a sociopath.

"“Hi sweetie how was your day?” my mother asked me.

“Okay.” I said and grabbed the plate of food she set out and went to my room."- GYPPED! Big time!

But there were a couple of things I'm confused about...

In the quote there, it says that Avery went and took dinner (we presume)...but then at the end, his mum shouts for him to come down for dinner...FOR THE SECOND TIME? HOW IS HE NOT MORBIDLY OBESE?

Second point of confusion, and I know I make this mistake too, but shh. It's written in 1st person, yeah? Well that means that anything that you show us, has to be something that your character would be able to see. Avery has no mirror in front of him, he's not being described by someone else, and he's not remembering what he looked like in a photo or how would he be able to say: "piercing green eyes were staring right at my amber ones". How would he be able to see his own eyes and say for sure that they were amber? For all he knows, his eyes could have gone special overnight and turned tickle-me-pick...

And ANOTHER THING TO BITCH ABOUT! Amber? Why! What's wrong with brown? I'm all for inventive use of adjectives...but amber has such a FANGIRLISH aura about it! It's like saying you've got 'crimson' eyes. LIES! No one alive has crimson eyes naturally!

And yeah! Amber equals no no! Wolves have amber eyes (maybe), but humans don't. GAH! GAH!

And now I've finished raping, I'd just like to say...uh...I still love Avery. His eternal bad mood is hilarious. I want his babies. Or failing that, I just want his fashion sense. Yis.

I love this story and I'm SO glad you decided not to give up on it! (because, tbh, the previous ending sucked ass).

Darlberries chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
*Eyes burn out of head*. Ok, so it's frigging two in the morning, and I think I'm blind from tiredness. Good Lord.

But yeah, since you said you'd re-written this, I thought I'd give you the credit you deserve for SLOWING THINGS DOWN (Good Christ they moved fast before) and yeah. So I reviewed.

This is Dust Mowt btw. I'm just writing from my joint account.

So yeah. I haven't really noticed any significant changes in this chapter, and maybe I missed this before but...Avery doesn't half swear a lot...I'm not a hypocrite! No YOU shut up!

So yeah! I still like this story :D. And Edmund is a damn sexy name. So I will try and read chapter 2 before I pass out :D.
Nicholas Scott chapter 8 . 7/2/2008
that was so unbelievably adorable. I'm glad you decided to keep this one going. I enjoyed it.

I love the characters. There's an innocence to them that is refreshing. The notion of first love, the potential for happiness without all the stuff that goes with it, it's all fresh and brand new it seems and all you want to do is stay in that spot forever. Much like real life. And much like real lifewe know that it doesn't stay perfection because everything doesn't stay inside this perfect bubble. things and people get in the way.
Esquirella chapter 8 . 7/1/2008
LOVE this story!
Oxaloacetate chapter 8 . 7/1/2008
Yay, glad to see you're continuing this story.

It's a pretty good chapter and I think Avery and Edmund being together was cute.
treewalker chapter 8 . 6/30/2008
omg thank you so much for updating this! i really enjoyed this chapter, keep up the good work!

p.s this is ShatteredSword
Die In A Hole With Penguins chapter 7 . 5/25/2008
OMG! I Love This Story! Its So Embarrassing And Sweet! Update Soon
68 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »