Reviews for Mouse |
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![]() ![]() The first chapter was ah-mazing ! I can't wait to read the next one. |
![]() ![]() Nice story. |
![]() ![]() I love this Mel |
![]() ![]() Go Mel |
![]() ![]() Mel is too nice and understanding |
![]() ![]() I am glad she found a friend |
![]() ![]() Poor Mel |
![]() ![]() I really don't like her aunt |
![]() ![]() I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of how this story progresses. I like that Melanie is able to stand up for herself eventually but I am uncomfortable with how she stays with Ricardo despite the verbal and emotional abuse he has put on her. That scene where they slept together also made me really upset because in my mind I envisioned that as rape where she was extremely vulnerable and Ricardo took advantage of that. I also don't like how everyone treats her like crap but she still acts nice to them despite the many pressures they put upon her. I can't easily accept how things turn out for her and that she could have done so much better. I'm not trying to bash your writing or anything, you're a really good writer, these are the things that I get out of the story that just don't feel right to me because I am viewing this from a domestic violent standpoint. Again this is my opinion, it is not a critique on your writing, it is more of a commentary on what I have experienced from reading this story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Omg i thought id lost this story xD im favoriting so hard now, i cant get it outta my head |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Of Course," he replied, "just like my father had mine planned out for me" I was thinking ironic it is that I had just read it considering I had just watched the three idiots (a few minutes ago) and it was about following your own dreams instead of doing what is expected of you. Anyway, just wanted to say that this is going well so far, but I thought that the transition for Ricardo didn't seem very realistic, as he seemed very hostile just a while ago... |
![]() ![]() ![]() never knew u have an account here on FP. i read this story on wattpad and i can honestly say i love ur characters and the story development. one of the stories that's distinctive due to its. setting (the circus). |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi. I read this story like two years ago and still remember it. (Considering how much I read that is actually quite the feat.) Just wanted to tell you that I found all your stories on wattpad, and I wanted to make sure it was actually you. I know there's a lot of problems with that sort of thing on fictionpress, and it doesn't say anything on your bio, so I wanted to be sure. The acount name on wattpad is jayjay33. (If it actually is you, which the name 'jay' seems to suggest as a possibility, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Again, I just wanted to know for sure.) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! Just wondering, do you have an account on Wattpad? Because I found an account there by the name of jayjay33 with your stories. I don't know if it's you or someone else but am informing you nonetheless...can't take risk with so many plagiarists around. Here is the link to that account: user/jayjay33 |
![]() ![]() ![]() i think the best thing about this story is its originality. circus setting. very different. as you mentioned in an author's note, the romance isnt really big and fluffy, but ive enjoyed this nonetheless. i'll be moving on to the sequel, and i hope it's more romantic! |