|Reviews for Old Fashioned Steeple Chase With Martinis|
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 3/13/2008
Thank you for the review. Here's one in turn...
1) This is a really beautiful abstract. Which is another way of saying "I didn't really understand it, but I thought your words were pretty."
2) The title is great, though I can't put a finger on whether it's pertinent to the message of the poem or not.
3) There's a lot of emotion knotted up in this poem, and the last line feels ironic. Which is good. Even if I have no idea what's being said, there's feeling behind it and that makes the poem a lot more powerful.
4) "The antique mirrors working double shifts
To conceal you" I love that line in a narcissistic sort of way. It sounds a little like something I might write. Maybe the poem's about hiding who you are in a crowd, and doing that so well that you lose you?
5) I think, ultimately, the quality of this poem depends on what you were trying to do with it. If your goal was to write an abstract, where the lines and images don't exactly fit together but still do a good job of provoking thoughts, then you succeeded. If you were trying to present the reader with a clear, distinct emotion, then this needs a little more work. It really feels like there's something I'm not getting about this. Is there a key to it? An idea that would make it make sort-of sense?
| Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 3/10/2008
Nice, original piece.