|Reviews for Surface|
| Dolvich chapter 3 . 6/5/2008
1. Few spelling errors. Not a big deal, but enough to notice. They happen to everyone.
2. What does it look like underneath the earth? You tell what the people look like, and some of the pieces aroud, but i'm still wondering what the rest of the area looks like. Go nuts with what is around, give us some atmosphere.
3. The whole starting a new paragraph when someone speaks, yeah, but it's not a big deal. Could just be the website.
4. Other than that, good story so far. Interesting characters, and I'll be checking back to see where the story goes from here.
| RisanF chapter 1 . 5/2/2008
Very solid, easy to understand ploting. I think the characters are too arrogant though; you might want to tone down some of their speech a bit, so they don't look like they're just full of wrathful bluster. Some of their arrogance is okay, especially for these kind of characters, and if you can weed out the unnecessary stuff, I think they'll have the kind of high-class attitude that makes these characters work. There's some formatting issues in the story, like forgetting to start a new paragraph when another person is speaking, and some misused words here and there. Nevertheless, I understand the plot going straight in, and that's always a good sign.