aww alfonso is soo cute! haha he makes me laugh. i also like Aaron.

So what's going to happen with Brianna?

Great work,

E.

i really like the

story so far its really good.

update soon please.

Yeah, that was a good development of Aaron, and I love Alfonso, he's so cool.

JM

oi i really like your story, i can't wait for more, well i don't know what else to say, so keep updating and i might actually have something interesting to say in my next review :)

Hey I really like this story so far!

It's well written and very original

please update soon :)

For some reason, I keep imagining Alfonso, Justin, and Sophia as seven year olds. I don't know why...you clearly say that they're nine. I think I'm just weird. *Sigh* Oh well. I think this chapter was hilarious. Aaron, I think, has a bad habit of underestimating people. And Alfonso did a good job of proving Aaron wrong.

Yep this story is definite AWESOMESUCE! *such a cool word*

Anyway, CHEERS!

~Jeni

This is wonderful. You played up to their actual meeting well.

I can't wait to see what's next!

CHEERS!

~Jeni

Ok so you have officially gotten me hooked! I think you're doing a great job on Soup's POV and I really like the characters you've created. Please update soon! :)

Ha! Aaron got hit with a soccer ball. And Alfonso's one smart kid; I can't remember if you hinted at that earlier or not. How old is he, anyway? Ten-ish?

Nice chapter! I still can't figure out whether to call him Aaron or Soup.

Osprey

Wow this is really great, I love it!

Aw poor Rena, I do love Soup, Aaron, whatever we are gunna call him, hehehehehe.

JM

Oh, that made me laugh-Soup-slash-Aaron is Sophia's uncle! HA! I can't wait to hear more of this.

There were only a couple of things I noticed grammar-wise. The first is: you're using the wrong spelling for "break" (I'm sure I do it too a lot of the time).

Second thing: where you put "idiot's" in the fourth-to-last paragraph should be "idiots."

The only thing that was a little confusing was this sentence:

"After a bit of confusion over what the difference between Fudge Chocolate and Fudge Chocolate, Chocolate Chip and the size of a particular Mint Chocolate Chip we were all sitting outside at a little table."

Was it supposed to be "the difference between Fudge Chocolate and Chocolate Fudge"?

Um... I'm always afraid when I go around trying to correct people's grammar that they'll think I don't like the story. Don't get the wrong idea! I love this so far. I really hate it when there are these amazing stories out there that are never read simply because they're too long, or too short, or something like that.

Would you mind if I put an ad up on my profile for this story?

Osprey

Aw, man! Your chapters are always over way too fast. Your grammar is perfect, your descriptions are awesome, and I CAN NOT wait for the next one!

Osprey

Soup? (Is he serious, or did his 'friends' make up that nickname?) My gosh, he's like-huggable! (I think that about various characters, despite the fact that I don't usualy hug people in real life lol.)

Osprey