i like the little details, like how "M writes big".

sometimes, the obvious lack of commas detracts from the story. you have to be careful with how much you omit, grammar/punctuation-wise.

this chapter made me smile. it was slightly humorous, like most of the chapters.

though, i start to feel like this girl is way too specific, and way too picky. real life isn't a list. i hope she knows that.

for some reason i like the last line.

it's very specific, yet vague, at the same time.

this chapter reminded me of a post on MLIA.

(do you know MLIA? you don't seem like you'd be a FML or MLIT (my life is twilight) kind of girl, so i'm just assuming things, here. it's my life is average, in case you didn't know.)

a lot of MLIA stories seem to go like this: "today, my boyfriend finally got me alone. instead of fooling around, we played nintendo sixty four games. i know i picked the right one."

and they're cute stories, for the first twenty. but after sixty or so of these "i think i'm in love" or "she's a keeper" stories (which all seem to be very similar - pokemon, stickers, bubble-wrap, etc.) you get really bored, and think "these kids are too fast to fall in love. it can't be real."

just a random little bit.

though, i really do love stickers.

i put a pikachu sticker over my student id photo once, because my hair was messy that day and the photographer snapped the photo before i had a chance to smile, but the teachers made me take it off because apparently pikachu is not a real student enrolled at my school. hm. who would have known.

there was a lack of transition, which made everything kind of sudden. it works - it gives the story a bit of attitude and character - but you have to be careful about how sudden your transitions are. if you jump too much, people may get lost and wonder what's happening.

nice contrast - he knows her combination, but not that she's allergic to flour.

that's not something i've ever heard before. bummer. no cookies, no pizza. no bread. gee, this girl must be malnourished.

seems like a bit of a filler.

gave us more information on the kind of person m is though, which is interesting. a lot of information about the speaker, too. seems like she's not so superficial, though she's got a list of all the things she wants in a guy - so how honest and down-to-earth can she be, really?

it bums me out a bit that you seem so interested in reviews.

i know every author likes to hear praise and feedback, but personally, i have always found myself losing respect when someone positively demands reviews before posting the next update. you should write for yourself, not for a few good words.

i like this chapter.

it ties back in with the list, which i love. (some authors mention something "important" once, and then never refer back to it again - it drives me up walls.)

and his name somehow brings up the image of that super tanned jersey shore guy. you know, the one with super-gelled hair and crazy eyebrows who oozes fake machismo?

interesting. that seems to be the choice word for this story.

i find it a bit irritating (that's a bit of a strong word - more like i slightly dislike it) that the chapters are squished between two huge chunks of unrelated text. it detracts from the story.

the writing is nothing horrible, but it's nothing spectacular, either, to be honest. you have a nice way of portraying their friendship - the fact that the speaker can take so much from a simple look, and can give the look a meaning and a sort of attitude, speaks volumes of their friendship.

i like that there's no real dialogue with quotation marks. sometimes, quotes are unnecessary.

interesting chapter.

very, very short - it's a novella, sort of.

well. more like a novella than a real story, i feel.

but that's okay. short is good.

short means i can read it if i'm late for the bus

in the mornings, you know? size doesn't always matter.

nothing much to say (yet).

interesting concept.

a few nitpicky, not-really-important things:

i found that the lack of capitalization in the title actually threw me off, because the real story is capitalized properly. usually if the title isn't capitalized, i expect the story to be all lowercase letters. i don't mind lowercase - it's just made me crinkle my nose a bit, because i wasn't sure what to expect.

also, the fact that ninety nine was centered took away from the effect (for me - some people might love it). i wonder if it was a little formatting mistake, or if you meant it because friends are just as important as love. it didn't really work for me - if one hundred was centered, i would be like "yes. that's awesome." but when two are centered, it kind of detracts from the effect.

though, i really like the list. it's really cute, though i doubt any girl can find a guy who truly fits all of the requirements.

i lovelovelove how some of the numbers kind of pick up where the others left off.

all in all, very interesting. i'm keen to learn more.

i can't believe i found this story again! i read it up to i think the part with the restaurant but i hope you update soon! because i'd like to read more :] congrats on stanford btw

he's gay?

seriously...how can any guy be that perfect! :) very intriguing.

I read this start to finish pretty quickly, but I love the idea. Surprisingly, the short chapters work for this story. The little insights into the main character's life - it works, and I love it. Although Hunter is getting on my nerves, to be honest, hehe. I'm interested to see how this turns out!

And it's funny that the main character's best friend's nickname is M, because my friend gave me a one letter nickname too. :)

Please update soon! I love this story so far. :)

This story has been added to When You Were Young’s February list.