Reviews for a pair of glass shoes
yukiteddy chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
awww it's beautiful God sure has given you some serious writing skills :)
helixdown chapter 1 . 7/5/2008
good poem, good poem, eh, i'm reading so much i think i'm running out of ideas to review about. BUT I WILL CONTINUE ONWARD!
shadow-of-a-trackless-sea chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
i likie this interesting use of the classic glass shoe. i like this whole little plot of a shy girl finding her inner self, it works well.
alison chapter 1 . 3/26/2008
i don't have time to explain everything that's happened lately, but i promise you that i will definitely write out an update and send it to you, probably tomorrow.

right now, i just wanted to let you know that i am healed, i am restored, i am filled with life and love, peace and joy and His strength so much deeper than i've ever felt before, and i know this is lasting, and i know this is hope.

i'm working on editing my writing ... you should see this account up and running soon. i can't sign in right now, but i'll work on that.

God bless you. i have so much to tell you. you are in my thoughts and prayers always. please remember that i love you and care about you more than words could ever express, and that i'm always here and will always care, if you ever need anything at all - i'd bend over backwards for you. and break, if i had to. you can always talk to me - please know that. i'm someone you can always cry to if you need it ... or when you need a place to scream in joy.
creepy kiss on tuesday chapter 1 . 3/15/2008
Pretty :]

I don't see anyone saying miracles are impossible.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
the bed slightly a mess./(the sheets were all tangled and in a heap.) that sounds like a real mess not a slight mess... lol

(beautiful and breathtaking.)/and it was breathtaking;.. not a big fan of using breathtaking twice

without any thought about it. without any thought or without thinking about it

I like the metaphor about the beauty tangled in the sheet sand the beauty within her.. that is really unique and the word choice was excellent as well.. great piece!
Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 3/13/2008
First of all, the parentheses. Personally, I don't think any of them are necessary. The second '(beautiful and breathtaking.)' feels like a filler phrases and the first and third feel necessary for the previous stanzas.

i.e. First stanza would then be:

the bedroom door was slightly open,

the bed slightly a mess,

the sheets were all tangled and in a heap.

Also, be concious of word economy. There's quite a lot of "empty" words in here that could easily be removed. The first parentheses for example could simply be "the sheets were tangled in a heap". Same image without the extra syllables. Personally, I feel that the second stanza is more prosaic in that sense as well. Without the line breaks it could simply be a sentence from a story. To rectify this would require more poetic voice and less empty words.

I like the concept. It's an interesting premise and with tweaking, the presentation could live up to that. I just think it does need to be condensed and also, try to use more specific verbs instead of beautiful and beauty. Really give us a clear and vivid image.

Other than that though, again, I like the concept.

Midnight