Reviews for Judgement
Esther Jade chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
Review game!

Hello again - I was full of good intentions at one point to keep up with your poetry but your writing is way too prolific.

I like this poem. It's succinct, has nice word choice and has a nice complexity of emotion. Word choices that I particularly like are "infrastructure", "attentive" (I forget the term for it but I like the way this word is meant to be describing the "lines" but is actually describing the writer) and "cliched emotion".

The emotional contrast between the writer being really hurt and knowing she's overreacting is really nice. I love the way you encapsulate it in your final phrase: "a strange, unwanted sensitivity".

I also like the way your describe the "eyes". That's a really nice description and easy to relate to.

Two small things that I think could be improved: 1) Word choice of "dissatisfaction". I know what you're saying and I think I know what emotion you're alluding to but I think there is probably a better word choice for it. 2) The line about the nose sniffing "a discordant harmony". While it seems like a nifty description, I don't think it ties in with the overall theme of the poem. I feel like you need an image which ties more tightly into the poem - I think this is especially important because the poem is such a tight, focused one with images that all complement one another.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
I love how you describe crying at the end there... it's so fitting and you never actually use the word. I also love the second line because I can relate to it. Nice job.
a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
It's quite different from your other stuff, but I like it nonetheless. The fifth line is beautiful.
thursdays and rain chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
just the way i feel sometimes.. write on!