Reviews for The Ghost Writer
Uisukiiinyoursleep chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
I served in a jury this past fall (unfortunately, I had the useless role of *alternate* juror; meaning I was there every day, but had no input in the end... sigh)- so I just want to say, this chapter has been a thrill. The whole process; from the back-and-forth between the prosecutors and defense, the interjections of the judge, the responses and testimony of the main character... are incredibly spot on. Your writing is exquisite, so complete. I am so excited to have come upon this story, although it will probably cause me to procrastinate in some of my summer studies this week, especially as I search your profile for more of your work :o).

RarahSarai chapter 21 . 10/2/2009
OMG! Once again I loved it! I thought it was going to turn into ...Secret Window! Wow I cant wait to read the sequel. Wow, once again I loved it!
Z.Z.G chapter 9 . 8/14/2009
Hey, I love this story so far, but I thought I'd point out an inconsistency. Earlier on in the story, you mentioned that Hale didn't drink, smoke or do drugs. Then in this chapter, you have him buying Marlboros and wanting a cigarette. Just thought I'd point it out. This is a good story, and could be publishable material if you got all the inconsistencies out of it. All in all I'd give this story a 7.5 out of 10. Good Job.
Eurypon chapter 1 . 6/12/2009
I liked how I was thrown immediately into the action because it grabbed my attention and never let go. Also very good was how a relatively complicated situation was made clear. I had no difficulty following what was going on. The writing style was supple and the dialogues rung true. The reflections of the main character helped bring relief to the scene. The characters were clearly defined.

The plot itself is promising. A psychic and the ghost of a murdered boy. That screams "Tell me what happened" and invites to read on.

There was not really anything I disliked. Fantastic job.
Connie Loudermilk chapter 1 . 6/4/2009
Spellbounding, I wanted more.
la bonne annee chapter 12 . 5/29/2009
You wanted a later chapter, so I chose "The Coffin" because it sounded interesting. And it was.

I love how Hale is all jaded and calm and cigarette-y. He seems like a badass phsychic, not like the buzzkill lady from Medium. All the information in the chapter seemed believeable, like you did research. Or maybe you already know a lot about plastic coffins.

The only thing that I wasn't a fan of was the fact that it was in present tense. All the "I say, I sit, I do NOW" was kinda annoying. I prefer past tense fo sho.
Samigwen chapter 21 . 5/5/2009
Wow, I have to admit, this was probably one of the most exciting stories I've ever read, and I've read a lot of books. I caught a few errors due to fast typing, but this is still amazing. Like I said before, I'm not really big on the present tense, but the plot that kept me on the edge of my seat made up for it 110%! Keep writing, but save something for the publishers!
Peri1020 chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
Wow! This is a wonderful story. I've read the whole thing and I have to say you are a great writer. The pacing was strong, streamlined and you kept the story moving forward straight to the end with no irritating side trips (which I see in a lot of stories on this site). You created a great protagonist in Hale, someone the reader can relate to and feel compassion for as he works his way through this mystery. I like that Hale is not a "perfect" psychic, that he admits that he doesn't have full control over his abilities and yet he manages to get the job done.

This story epitomizes everything that I've been taught makes a great story. I'm actually a little envious and see that I have a lot of work to do on my own story!

Keep up the great work, and please keep working on Second Sight...I'm anxious to see what happens next!
Danielle Gin chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
Review Game

Wow! That was a really great prologue! I liked how you opened the scene with the judge entering the court room and then focusing in on our hero. It really helped create a feeling of intimacy with the character because that was whose perspective everything was yet gave an almost subtle overview of what was going on. I also really liked how you’ve just barely shown the killer so far. It leaves a lot up to the imagination and in turn makes him a lot more frightening. But I just can’t get over Hale – he seems like such a fully developed character! I mean, I was really able to get a sense of what he was like. It was great!

I’m definitely going to be reading more of this. You’ve done a fantastic job and happy writing!
Samigwen chapter 14 . 5/2/2009
Oh my gosh! That's a lot of suspense! I'm loving this story more and more with every word! It's amazing and I'm waiting to read the ending with bated breath! I don't wan't the action to end!
The Watched chapter 21 . 5/1/2009
Hello again! Well, I did manage to stay up for another hour or so finishing this. By the end I was far too tired to write a review, though, so you're getting my morning-after thoughts, so to speak.

Firstly, I really did enjoy this. It has a great premise, which is genuinely original and intriguing. It's well written - there are a couple, literally a couple, of grammar and spelling mistakes, but that's really not bad in twenty one chapters and God-knows-how-many words. It kept me reading throughout, despite the fact that I was watching my eight hours of sleep tick away, and that in itself is quite a compliment.

However, I'm a pedantic so and so, and never review nicely when I could nitpick. Haha. So, the one thing that really stood out to me in this is that it...well, in some ways, at least, it lacked depth. There were hints of a fascinating backstory, and in places at least, it began to be explored - and I felt that those were the moments when it really showed flashes of being something pretty great. But it never quite opened up enough. The plot is fairly linear and straightforward - and it's a good plot, but I do kind of feel that it needs a little bit more to it. I'd like to know more about Hale Marcum. I feel that there's a character in there I could really sympathise with, but I'm not quite getting into his head enough to do so. He's obviously haunted by something, if you'll excuse the pun, and I'd like to know what it is.

Let me just reiterate that this is really, really good. But it isn't *great*. I think to elevate it to greatness, it does need a little more depth, a little more character intrigue.

On the offchance you decide to actually take me up on this and perhaps edit a little, I'd be glad to help; just drop me a PM or email, or whatever. ) I really enjoyed this story, and I think you're genuinely talented. If there's anything I can do, I'm happy to.
The Watched chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
I'm just starting to read this now (as is obvious I suppose). It's one am on a Thursday night and I've got to get up early tomorrow. And yet I have a feeling this is going to grip me. It's interesting. It's intriguing, and sort of funny in places, though with more of a dark humour than out-and-out comedy. I like the fact that the protagonist has personality. I like his almost-defiance of the attorney.

The one thing I do - well, not take issue with exactly, but perhaps could criticise - is the present-tense, very fast pace you've already built up here. I realise that this is only the prologue, and I apologise if it's something that alters later on - I'd leave you another review later but I've got a terrible memory and I'm afraid I'd forget. I think it would be nice to know a tiny bit more about these people. You are doing a great job with the whole 'showing not telling' style of writing, but the fact that you're writing in first person means that you get a little bit more leeway with that than you otherwise would, and I would like to know, for example, how the whole "Then you do it. I'm thinking of a number - " incredibly, well, *cool* defiance of the attorney makes your protagonist feel, for example. You can 'show not tell', but just a smile quirked in victory or a hand rubbing an aching temple would be incredibly revealing at this point.

I'm really enjoying this. I think by just adding that little bit more character detail you could move it from good to great, but as it is it's a damn sight better than most things on here, and yeah, as I say, I'm genuinely enjoying it. (And without trying to blow my own trumpet, I'm an English Lit student at university, so that's saying something).
Samigwen chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
Wow. That's amazing. I'm not a big fan of present tense writing, but you already have me hooked. I love your writing.
mikey magee chapter 7 . 3/12/2009
I really liked your use of metaphors in this chapter. Lines like "The morning sun slants through the trees in a bar pattern that reminds me of a cage" were creative and really let us in on how Hale was feeling.

The opening was nice. it let us see how Hale felt about his room and (in a way) himself. A room should be personal shouldn't it? So by him neglecting it we can assume this is a deeper part of his character. I would suggest that you cut it just a little. It was nice, but it seemed to drag a little bit.

Again the writing was consistent, but watch out for redundancy like "My room was mess and disorganized" you should only use one of those words to get the point across.

I really enjoyed reading this. You are very talented. Keep Writing!
mikey magee chapter 6 . 3/12/2009
"Keeping my thoughts to myself , I nod and close the door." The comma is too far away from "myself"

"Let’s talk, I silently command" get rid of the word "Silently" We already know it's silent because he's thinking it.

Your writing style stayed consistent with Hale's dialog. It made each scene (like when the police came at the end) very realistic.

Nadiya really stood out to me. I loved how when she saw Hale without is shirt off she stepped back. You showed her hesitance rather than telling it. Very nice.
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