Reviews for and i thought you were wasting your time |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I really like the style of this. The repetition of "you, on the cold pavement, and where am i, on a ripped old bar stool" works nicely. I think the ending would be better with no comma- "whatever you see, it's better than what i see." In the middle the flow could be a little better, but in the last two paragraphs/stanzas it has a great rhythm. Good job! |
![]() ![]() ![]() this is so pretty, in a gritty way; so real and sad. "and tonight i watch you again, incline your head upwards" -i think you might mean "inclining". it's like half-way between poetry and prose. great work. |