|Reviews for a lifetime|
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 3/29/2008
very evocative. i don't get the line "a bit so you don't screw up"; it doesn't seem to follow.
when are there ever no stars? severe light pollution? I'm curious. anyway, I love the idea in those lines, even though I don't think i understand.
by the way, "youand" in the last verse is scrunched together, no big deal. nice poem as always.
| Mad Asher chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
Ok, so first off i liked this. Some good concepts here like 'parking sentiments', 'words like paper', 'greenade-like dream' and stuff. I didn't get how burnt hole in a cloth is unfamiliar, unless I think the cloth means something to you. umm why would you count stars when there were none? that seems kind of crazy, i dunno. overall i think it was good