|Reviews for Breaking Point|
| Eclipsia Soulbird chapter 2 . 4/29/2008
I think a good alternate title might be 'Dealthy Kiss' or 'Kiss of Death" - because it's both romantic and angst-y, and suspenseful, and a little dramatic (maybe too dramatic, but I like drama, so kill me, lol).
I liked this chapter length. To improve this chapter, you might add more description. I'm not sure if the all-dialog format is intentional. I love dialog, but you're very good at descriptions judging by the very first part of this chapter ("McKowan held out his arm to the girl and imperceptibly straightened as she slipped her slender hand into the crook of his arm" - See what I mean? It's so detailed, and yet not overly detailed, and doesn't take away from the story at all)... So yes. I think more description would be nice.
I read your profile first and it's so interesting that you made up your own language! I would PM you to ask, but since I'm already writing this, and this is sort of like a semi-public PM anyway, what does your penname mean? Bri is obviously your name, but the Kara part?
Good work here. I hope you'll update soon!
I'm off to read your "Randomness." :)
| Eclipsia Soulbird chapter 1 . 4/29/2008
Interesting and emotional start. Very suspenseful, yet very well-done.
| heartfeltlove chapter 2 . 4/21/2008
| somebodystopme chapter 1 . 4/16/2008
This sounds promising.
As fair warning,
I review by chapter, and may get annoying. .;
| robertrehcra chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
Nice prologue. It is both enticing and well written. I only hope you have more of it written for you seem to lack a lot of the concrete details in your prologue.
I have been working on a short story of a similar name and have the same problem. I didn't even give the main characters names until just today.
But if you left out details on purpose I think it works great. And You have left me wanting..:)
| Selarose chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
Update soon! :)
| heartfeltlove chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
This is very intresting!