|Reviews for Nope, Wrong Equation|
| Caecilia chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
Wow. This is hilarious. Yet another funny one.
Definitely an interesting idea for a story. Your summary is amazing as well. Your dialogue is smooth and funny. Great writing.
I don't think I have any critique.
Caecilia. The Roadhouse
| raineyday chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
This is marvelous! Brilliant use of dialogue; it flowed incredibly well and had great comic timing. The lack of dialogue tags really helped with the flow, I think, and I never lost who was talking. Well done!
On the flip side, your narration, I feel, is even stronger. It very funny and has such a huge sense of character. Humorous lines like: "Between those moronic Grimm Brothers and that damn moralizing JRR Tolkien, the magical accessories business has nearly gone under," just kept drawing me further into the world of these characters.
A very funny piece! _
| Rumba Rumba chapter 1 . 3/23/2008
I liked it - it was very amusing, especially their little dialogues. I couldn't tell much about the POV character - I couldn't tell at the end if Jordan was flirting with him or if they were just having an argument again. If it hadn't been for the bit at the beginning that told me it was fluffy slash, I wouldn't've known.
I loved the 'I was looking for scales, nimrod.' and the '-Gods damn, I didn't mean literally, get your hands off my fa-'. I could really tell what their characters were like and it did make me laugh.
The 'uh' in the 'As I was, uh, saying -' was a little unecessary and interrupted the flow a bit, I thought, but the rest was excellent.