HAHA! This story is hilarious XD Love the characters and how cliche they are, and the 'villain' is awesome! Great job!

so..so...so... TRAGIC at the end!

I can't really see which one's evil now... Martaia and Rynagon or the king? Hm...

LOL

AHAHAHA! I looved it! This is such a great work of parody! You really did a good job of exposing just about every cliche in the fantasy playbook! If your looking what to avoin in a story, this basically your guide! This was really funny and very well done! Thank the Gods and Godesses that you escaped from your terrible author so that you can spread your awesome writing to the world! _

weird

Once again, great writing. Extremely witty (and who doesn't love sarcasm?). Hope to see more stories like this, although I'm the first to know that you can't force this kind of brilliance.

That was excellent. So funny. )

"He made a slight gagging noise as his head fell off."

LMAO! Yay for parodies. This was very, very funny.

I love it-death to the cliches, but that still won't stop me writing them!

hahaha, seriously! I would suggest reading a published short story you can find online (and offline, obviously). it's called "girl's guide to defeating the dark lord", and it's quite funny! takes all those stereotypes and beats em up a little.

great piece!

Very silly and enjoyable. It made me laugh out loud, especially all the references to revealing clothing, and the way the bad guy was so no nonsense. There should be more bad guys like that, as he had more personality then the 'heroic' characters.

Funny, but the villain doesn't seem that evil.

Hilarious. But my gosh, the ending line was disturbing. O.O XP

*gag*

XD

Again, hilarious!

Characters: Well it’s a parody, so your characters are really flat and exaggerated. The names are over the top as well, just looking at ‘Rynagon’ I think I choked a little. There’s nothing in speech or actions to tell apart the ‘hero’ and ‘heroine’ but they’re not around long enough for it to matter. The first guard has some personality though and the king had a bit as well. More development would be nice, even if you were to keep the heroes as caricatures

Dialogue: Most of the dialogue is really flat too. The jokes are chuckle inducing but could also stand some further development.

“Whaddaya mean, the king is childless?” this bit comes out of nowhere because he’s not actually responding to anyone else’s statement, it’s just there, which is a bit weird.

Writing: A lot of the sentences are telling (instead of showing) e.g. “The hero and heroine took this time to make out. Later, they finally stopped staring into each others’ eyes and began to walk towards the castle again.” It makes it go fast, but is a bit boring to read.

Plot: “And the wolves elected someone onto the council.” I’m not sure what the wolves have to do with this, did your merry heroes attack them as well? Also, if the King isn’t at all evil or despotic and is fairly popular, why are the heroes attacking, I mean, besides for the hell of it? Maybe a ‘yur daddy killed mah daddy’ sort of thing?