|Reviews for One Minute, Next Moment|
| night62611 chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
def remeber that about relationships, great poem describing a very real and common occurance... enjoyed it
| Misstress Nicole chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
The meaning behind this poem is clear. Perhaps a little too clear. There's no imagery, no poetic device. It's written dryily. There's not much emotion in it. I do, however, like the idea behind the poem and I like the ending. One moments everything is fine, the next is chaos but you'll never know what the moment after that will bring. Try changing the words so instead of telling us what you say, you have us interpret what happens. It's not horrible, but it does have room for improvement like everything does.
| Voxvocem chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
Aww, I can totally empathize with this poem. It's happened to me, though it was more that I had no idea how what I said hurt the person...
Very nice in structure though. You really captured emotion well.
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
I like the premise of an instant change in conditions because it's very relatable to most people, I think. I also like the question at the end of the piece.
However, over all it seemed like it needed more imagery and metaphor - more show and less tell, to use a cliché. It has potential, but without much poetic language it sounded kind of bland to me.