Reviews for Master's Revolt
Guest chapter 2 . 12/13/2013
You don't have it up here or on your website (neither of them). You have NO idea how frustrating that is.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 22 . 11/20/2009
1) “I told you. I am the computer. However, before I downloaded my brain into the palace computer system, I was known as Mitzell. The man you knew as Mizur was a combination of my mind and Zuri’s body. It was supposed to be his mind as well, but I am afraid he quite thoroughly shut himself down when I took over,” the voice, Mitzell, admitted." Argh, this is so complicated, confusing and creepy.

2) Well, Zuri has divulged everything, and Mitzell doesn't control him anymore.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 20 . 11/20/2009
"It had been too late from the very first time he called her by his mother’s name." Wow, unexpected, plus it's bittersweet.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 18 . 11/20/2009
I'm shocked that Rizal is an android. Well, Mizur has already gone too far.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 14 . 11/20/2009
Haha, I've just realized that most people look nice and vulnerable when they're sleeping. (Yes, I'm referring to Zahn.)
Icyfire4w5 chapter 11 . 11/20/2009
"Mizur saved them, fed them, and then killed them." I won't be surprised if Mizur schemes to kill Zahn off.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 6 . 11/20/2009
1) Gosh, I've never expected Zahn to break his vow of celibacy so soon. He's impulsive.

2) Oops, there is a typo somewhere-you've typed "tp scream" instead of "to scream", I think.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 5 . 11/19/2009
"Having the lowest form of scum as a parental figure had to be far worse than not having a parent at all." This is brilliant, very brilliant indeed.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 3 . 11/19/2009
1) I'm not a sci-fi buff either, muahaha. (In fact, when I first clicked on this story, I assumed that it would be fantasy.)

2) Zuri might be young, but he sounds so wise and fatherly. I bet that I'll have a crush on him soon.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 1 . 11/19/2009
1) Will Cora ever fall in love? If she does, who will she love? Haha, I'm interested in this story because I want to find out the answers... :)

2) Argh, I'm afraid that a society "with few rules and even fewer consequences" is a lawless one, and I won't feel safe living in such a society.

3) I really admire you-you've inserted countless details into a single chapter, yet I never feel overwhelmed by all these details. Instead, I think that you've created an interesting universe.
daydee chapter 11 . 8/30/2009
So here's what I think. Zuri is Zahn and Mitzel is Alexander. And maybe Suzen is the emporess.
crimsonbloodlove chapter 23 . 8/1/2009
I love your work, I can stop reading them and am slowly finishing up each series. Your stories have turned into my addiction. I really like this story and am looking foward to reading the other two, expecially Alexander's gotta love the new emperor. I wish you success in finishing the Sun series (which I can wait to read the 6th one), and maybe write these other two?
kirra chapter 23 . 7/23/2009
this is a great story I can not wait for the other two
Xaari chapter 21 . 6/17/2009
One of your stranger stories, but delightful to read nevertheless. And I disagree with preabling brook - the flashbacks and Mitzell/Zuri thing were just great. The only thing that bothered me was Alex and Zahn discovering they're brothers; it seems that nearly all your protagonists end up becoming royalty, like Riyka, Demi, Mika, Kell...even though it is unnecessary. However, the plot twists really keep me on the edge of my seat! You are a wonderful writer. :)
preabling brook chapter 23 . 6/7/2009
Weel... It isn't horrible. For a while there I was definitely caught up thinking, "Damn, why aren't a PAYING for this?" It's actually fantastic, the characters themselves... The story line(for the most part). What put me off were some of the events around the end. The flashback section really didn't integrate well... I kept thinking one of the two boys was Alex, and the other was Zahn. It would have been much nicer to have them both be good friends("like brothers") only to end up seperated by some odd twist of fate, and thrown onto different paths. With that in mind, you could completely rework the whole ending. I'm sorry, but the whole Zuri plus Mitzell equals Mizur... it just doesn't work... at all. Not only is the concept straight out of... I'm not even sure where..., you're changing the enemy that the reader has been learning to hate throughout the story. What's worse: you're changing the enemy in the last chapter. It's too much of a loop.

The two brothers thing... works... sorta. It's fine and all, but it's a bit too, "now we ride into the sunset eating icecream" for my taste. Friends would have been better. ALso, Tezer. I can understand, by major stretch, that Zahn and Alex are related, but Tezer isn't really mentioned... and he doesn't fit into the story that well.

Um, beyond that... just let it be done when Mizur is shot. Make that part more climactic, and kill him off. Have the 22nd chapter show Zahn and Cora getting back together, and use the epilogue to give the reader that sickly sweet cherry pie ending...you know what I mean... two months later, and everything is peachy. I'd also strongly recommend just changing that whole flashback thing. Get rid of Zuri and Mitzell, make 'em Azaire and Kazi... you've got yourself a damn fine story.

Sorry, I spent so much time dwelling on the not so good. I really did love the story. Just those parts, which really aren't that major, and could be fixed easily with some minor tweaking and a bit of a rewrite, really bothered me, cause they just didn't work. Don't mess up your awesome story to throw in some soap opera twist. It's so not worth it.

Peace.
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