Reviews for Premature
KatieTheWriter chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
:( So sad. I love babies and hate to think that any of them are hurting. Excellent job!

KatieTheWriter
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
I like this piece.. the she and you thing got a bit confusing, but by the end I had figured it out. I also love the way you describe the nurses at the end. That was really perfect and well done, but my favorite part was about your heartbeat racing... that description was just perfect.

The only thing was the punctuation made a lot of run on sentences and in the fourth line... the two hands seemed odd.
ode to a nightingale chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
[Sorry, can't be bothered to log in at the moment.]

Although I like this very, very much, it doesn't seem done. The ending is powerful, but I think I like the fourth and fifth lines most. Anyway, it might need some work, but I still think you pulled it off very well. :]
Track8 chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
Yes, it does need just a little bit more; the end seems too abrupt. Otherwise, the poem is heartbreaking and beautiful.

-Track8.