Reviews for i'm trying to grow up so stop looking at me |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Oh... "you always had a thing for words that had wiggle room" I am so in love. and, also, you get major kudos for using the word tangible. |
![]() ![]() Phwoar. Very nice. I really liked the transition here: "I walked down the dirty streets and saw myself lying in the trash. I took my hand and led her along." from 'you' to 'her' as the personal pronoun. I'm not a fan of the "didn't/couldn't" forward slash in there. I also liked "always, forever." having its own line, and "didn't give a shit" being the only curse word. It really made it stand out. A formatting thing with your italicized things that break the verse form and travel across the whole page is that on the first one there are no hyphens before and after, and in the other there are. Something to consider. I read the other reviews, and what they said about capitalization is true too. There are some places where it seems like some of the words should be emphasized a bit more, mostly because that's how it starts and leads you in with Comparison being capitalized. If you're not going to capitalize emphasized words throughout, then don't, but if you are, then do. One or the other. I'ma text you now, so you know I r/r'd. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good, definetely very good...but try to focus a bit more on capitalizing the words...it makes the poem so much better... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Think about your capitalization. It DOES influence how the poem is read and understood. But good. |