|Reviews for Moonspeak|
| radioactive stanica chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
I am in awe ...
i'm a hop & a skip away
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/4/2008
I'm not british, but with clear eyes—/and so clearly do I have eyes... British and I didnt like the repetition and phrasing here... it just sounds odd to me
I like this a lot... all the descriptions were really well done and I like the alliteration in the second line of the first stanza.
| Moon-Chaser chapter 1 . 4/2/2008
Wow, you seem angry about someone's work, or probably everyone's work, that is how it sounds to me anway. I know that I never claim my work to be all that good, I don't post my stuff for anyone but myself. I can tell you you write very well and go with what you feel.
Keep it up.
| Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
I have to admit this off the bat - I flat out don't like the third stanza. It just doesn't read "right" in this poem. It feels out of place both tonally and rhythmically. I think part of it comes from following a very flowing stanza that jumped from idea to idea with clarity and precision. The list-like quality also feels quite amateurish, again, in a piece that is otherwise very refined and polished. It's obvious you're an old hat at editing which makes me wonder at your intent behind firstly the structure of that stanza and secondly at the bland nature of it. The first line reads well, though feels a bit too long in terms of syllables, but again, it's the list feeling that I get from the next few lines that makes me bored.
Other than that I do like this piece. It's a good judgment of some of the more absurd technicalities of poetry and reminds me of the infuriation I used to have with an old poetry teacher who is a wonderful poet himself but gets lost in teaching because he writes from the heart but believes we should write with every technique in mind.
1. L2 - I feel that the second line should be "a delicate diction and tearjerking prose" instead of having the "a" in front of the "tearjerking".
2. "british" should be capitalised.
3. I normally despise ellipses in poetry but I feel that the period on L3 of the fourth stanza is too abrupt.
Otherwise, lovely work. I like the flowing feel of your poetry so in direct comparison to the taut nature of mine.
| Richard chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
| Paradise L chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
do you mean to criticize everybody else's(people's) poetry? or are you attacking poetry itself, and what it has become? i actually kind of do agree with what you're saying about poetry lacking substance and people putting more into the flow with "clever lines" and stuff, but i don't think there's a "wrong" or "right" way to write poetry. poetry is what people can use to let out their emotions. I don't think we can interpret poetry with such detail as to know every bit of what writers are thinking as they write, which is why we can't conclude that people lack substance and only write poems to show off their "clever lines." i don't know what i'm saying now. i see what you mean though, were you mad at the time you wrote this? jus mad. xD
| Lunar Advent chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
Too much free verse...
see you later
| Lenners chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
Heh, I like your tone. 楽しいです．You articulate yourself very nicely. Also, interesting use of vocabulary, I had to actually go look up what a juxtaposition meant (because I've forgotten) XD
You should try writing something not in free pose, I think you'd do it really well :)