Woah. It's interesting and makes me smile. Maybe I'm not laughing, but I'm definitely surprised by the romantic humour in it.

You portray the average person almost perfectly, and even though there's a hint of Sci-Fi now and then, (The thing with the time machine was hilarious) you still bring up the commonness of shyness.

And I must say, even though I'm a girl and not a guy, I still get into these situations, only a shy person can write this... 'shy' novel.

And there ends my sugar-coated review. Have a nice day.

Hehe. I like this story, and I quite like the guy too. I love it how he's so nervous and everything and just keeps making himself look dumb. It's rather cute D

Looking forward to the next update

Wow... simply hilarious. I spent most of the time almost in tears laughing. You have a gift for writing simple humor like this. Keep it up! I can't think of any ideas of things that could go wrong right now, but I'll let you know if I get one.

hey!

the description of that girl resembles my best friend so much!

idea: get to her friends and they'll talk her into you! lolz!

keep writing!

LOL a time machine! Normally, it really bugs me when people have each sentence as a paragraph. But for this, it works.

Update soon!

o... this is interesting. write more, please!

Haha... very cute. I see a lot of potential in this. However, the first chapter was a little too short, and there wasn't much detail included in the writing. Next time, try to flesh it out with detail... maybe describe the girl, or what the tone of her voice was when she was complaining about her friends. Were were you hiding when you overheard that?

All in all, keep writing... this could be great. :)

-Darlene

sad-infamy,

You know, I'm a little confused about your review.

You start by saying; "THIS IS NOT FUCKIN STUPID..." which, to me, sounds like a compliment.

Then you continue with; "...ITS A RETARDED OVERDONE PLAN" which sounds more like an insult.

Now, normally, I would have certain clues which would help me figure out what exactly you were trying to say. These clues fit into one category; grammar.

It's a commonplace mistake to hit the "Caps Lock" button for the first letter at the beginning of a sentence and then forget to hit it again. That explains why your entire review was capitalized.

Now, another common mistake was the lack of punctuation. I believe there are a few options we should explore, perhaps you could tell me which one you intended on putting:

1) "This is not fucking stupid. It's a retarded, overdone plan." This one implied direct conflict. You are telling me that my story is not stupid. On the other hand, it is an overdone plan. From that I would gather that you liked my writing, but thought the idea was too cliche.

2) "This is not fucking stupid, it's a retarded, overdone plan." This implies that even though my story was not stupid, the plan is overdone. Basically this is another way of saying the same thing as before, only using a comma instead of a period (or full stop, if you are from England).

3) "This is not fucking stupid; it's a retarded, overdone plan." This says that you were, in fact, being sarcastic about my story not being stupid and, furthermore, you think that it is far too cliche.

So thank you for taking time to read and review my story, and I hope that my review of your review will help you to write better reviews in the future!

-Adam

THIS IS NOT FUCKIN STUPID ITS A RETARDED OVERDONE PLAN

haha. Ok I don't think i'm supposed to be laughing at this. So, I'm sorry.

Anyway I like it. Though slightly stalkerish.

If this whole thing is a true story. I think she'll probably think you're a stalker too, but if you just talk to the girl then maybe that might clear up the air.

Anyways thanks for posting up things like this for me to read.

that is such a sweet idea.