|Reviews for Door|
| Esther Jade chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
I like how you handle the repetitive refrain in this poem. Most people, I think, mangle repetitive lines in poetry but I think you managed it well. There's quite a nice rhythm to the lines and, in the first stanza, the almost rhyme of wrong-gone seems to embed the refrain into the poem.
I also like the development: set the scene, introduce the problem, introduce the character, develop the story, conclusion. It was a well-structured poem.
In the first stanza, I really liked the detail with the coffee cup. It's subtle but it has such a good allusion. In the third stanza, I found the "and to herself/and the tang of salt is in the air" a bit confusing. I think you're referring to the fact that she's been crying but I'm just not sure.
In the final stanza, I like the way you come back to the door image with the image of the locks. However, the locks and the fact that she's been crying seem to contradict each other. One seems to indicate emotional distance and the other emotional involvement. Perhaps this is deliberate but, it felt like maybe, it would be better if the last line were something like "who's just stopped crying".
- Esther, currently reviewing for the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)
| Two Of Spades chapter 1 . 4/17/2008
cool! There were some lines I think should be changed, but I liked it a lot. Appearances can be deceiving, huh? Anyways, have a good day!