|Reviews for Waiting|
| Esther Jade chapter 1 . 4/15/2008
I like the development in this poem. I wasn't quite sure where to stop reading though. But other than that, I thought the opening had a good tone of suspense, if that's the right word, that drew the reader in and then the stanzas built upon each other really well.
I find your use of enjambment and end-stop lines a bit random. Some lines feel like they shouldn't be run-ons and some that are end-stopped felt like they might do be better as run-ons. Overall, then, the punctuation felt a bit random rather than strategic.
I'm also not mad about the use of italics and bold in poems. But at least, you don't over-use it as some do and save it so it has more effect.
I think the theme of the poem is very interesting. The whole issue of companionship and the role it can play, even when the companions are not friends and, perhaps, are even antagonists, is fascinating. And you handle it with a very light hand. There's nothing trite to "trusimy" about this poem. It describes the situation and allows the reader to appreciate the poignancy without having it thrust in their face.
So, overall, I like it. It conveys emotion really well. I just think some of the technical aspects could be a bit tighter.
| Needa S chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
I can relate. Awesome job putting this together. Write on!
| Jennifer chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
you gots me confused. are you a girl or a boy? other than that, i can relate to the poem. i wiated for my best friend to say hi to me in highschool (When we started), but she never did.
and now i've found new things to wait on, but they're not happening. one of my favs.
| XxXKristie MarieXxX chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
Your friends... Didn't sit near you? and why didn't they? confused. But I likethe poem. Nice job.
| deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
*sigh* bastards... I think this happens far too often between "friends" and I'm not ashamed to say that this sort of stuff made me rethink my whole relationship between my own friends. Nobody should have to feel like a second rate friend, and that's a fact. I'm not saying get new friends, but you sure as hell better start slapping them around if they continue to always do this to you.
| Ezio. The Sentinel chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
People seem to change for no reason other than a whim. Almost typical, huh? Happens a lot perhaps? Of course, perhaps you should be more aggressive and fill the empty spaces next to them when they come in. As always, (and I'm beginning to idolize this in you) your language was very easy to follow and made me reflect on my own previous encounters of this type. I respect poetry that makes me think.
| Rock Music is my Muse chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
Damn. That's happened more than once to me at lunch.