Reviews for Raspberry Smoke
Dot Cubed chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Your poetry is too good for me, seriously. It's like practically perfect. I love the imagery and the idea of raspberry smoke as air and the sort of condescending tone the narrator takes. It's just so awesome.

Fave line(s):

"We love being hopelessly addicted/

(and twelve-steps take too much time)"

p.s. hi! :D haven't talked to you in awhile
Chidori Nadare chapter 1 . 4/16/2008
...and we all do it anyway.

I'm not really sure what to think of this but I sure love the representation of 'raspberry smoke' as breathing. This is going to my faves. Great job.

Jennifer chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
THis is one of my favs of yours. I don't understand it all the way, but i get the gist of it. The best thing on here was/is the imagery. You're imagery rocks.
BlackestOpal chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
Everybody is doing it.

This is awesome. The italics and the parenthesis really add to it.

This is so cool.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I really love the first couple of lines...but I don't see how "rasberry smoke" symbolizes breathing...and it do I put this...a bit novice to talk down saying this is breathing, duh...that's what it sounds like. Except for the "in-out-in-out" stuff, I really love the imagery. By using that, you could really rework this into an amazing poem.